If I'm Still There..

If i would have to stay in korea for extra one more week,
i would have witnessed this today, as of 09/12/2010~

beautiful =)

but I have no fate with snow. (sigh)

p/s: Pics taken from Kaist by Ridha (one of the Kaist-ian met during my 2 months there~)

Bogo Sipeoyo

alright...

i know i've not been updating this blog ever since the first post in korea >.<

but now here i am, typing this last post from korea before i head back to malaysia.

2 months passed just like that, but memories have been created and stored.

from not knowing anything about korea to knowing at least something now hehehe..

things have been great throughout the stay here. i'll miss the culture, the people, the FOOD (especially samgyeopsal and those typical korean food), the freedom, the SHOPPING heaven..etc..

i'm glad that i'll be back to meet my loved ones soon and after this, i know my life won't be the same again (even though i might rot at home for a little while haha =P)

stay tuned for updates..

and dun give up on our blog LOL..

annyeonghaseyo! ^^

2010 2010

20.10.2010

Memorable day for my family--my sister's 26th birthday ; the day when she becomes Mrs Lock legally.....:-)

emm...feels weird....

Still remember i wasn't very like my sis's bf when we first met..remember, i used to complaint this and that about him to you guyz....high expectation and being very strict and not friendly to him.... as time goes, i become feelingless...don't like him, don't hate him....

and then, I started to treat him as my friend without realization....

then, i helped him to prepare his wedding's stuffs....It sounds weird when i recalled that i actually did that!!

I was having dilemma whether i should skip class and attend her ROM for like about 2 weeks.

should i go? shouldn't i go?? had been haunting me for 2 weeks till the afternoon of tuesday!! maybe i need the help of rose to decide?? The decision was made as simple as such: there is no return if you miss a moment with the loves one especially family.. The happiness of being together to witness a marriage ceremony of only sister is priceless...

recalling the faces of my papa, mama and my sis...they are actually very very happy to see me there though they kept nagging me for skipping class...even her bf...opps......~!!

SOmehow, i accepted the 'brother-in-law' (correct?!@@)

when it started?? i don't know...

but as long as Sis is happy!! the moment i find him bully my sis...........wo yao ta hao kan!!!XD

Huggiez to my beloved friends and family..!!~ the most important people in my life...^_^

ps: my room is fulled with love now!!:D

After All the Busiesss

It's time to get back reality =)

May and Sue might get really surprise that I posted something here, lol

I am now officially unemployed, hahaha.. And it's kinda freaks me out in the early of this stage as I need to write resume!!!!! And I was like finding excuses from doing it, hahha... I've started it few hours ago and up till now, all I got in my resume is just my name, address, mobile and e-mail... hahha

Bore fills me while I am watching shows and playing games randomly for the WHOLE day in Belfast, and then I started to think my life should have something more than that, lol. Feel like moving on my life =)

However, I am kinda clueless where to go and what to do. What my future boss gonna be? Where am I going to stay? What kinda suffocating jobs that I'm gonna get? What kinda restless days I am going to get myself into?

People are always unsatisfiable like me, lol. I know, we're not going to happy with whatever we get. But I am still grateful for all the graces =)

Even though I do not have a clear vision in my future, but I really do have faith in God =)

Peace out =P

How come?

I'm being such a cry baby lately...

it's has only been the first day here but i'm hoping to go back already..

perhaps starting the first day with some unfortunate events make me homesick, been missing him like crazy and having the urge to go back so badly.

eventhough it's only for 2 months, i never feel so lonely here and ironically i'm here with another 7 people, compared to last time when i went over to adelaide alone, i didnt feel so much lonely back then.

i never feel anything like this before, even my mum wanted to off the skype just now i still purposely like dragging the conversation to be longer.

i need to be strong!

i must be strong!

maybe it's time to sleep, will probably feel better tomorrow~

LeeHom!!!^_^

The first photo tells everything...i went to KL last Sunday for The ONLY ONE autographing session for LeeHom in Malaysia! I was very indecisive whether to go or not..too much to worry..i was sick on that week..all the assignments are procrastinated, worry will be too tired to travel...worry i will regret....but everything settled when Joshua said he hopes that i can help him to get the signature..meaning i get to go on stage and see him within cms~!!

Jien Yeen and I went to KL in the sunday morning by bus for this one day trip! Haha...we were very blur...we reached 1-U around 1pm, wasted half an hour to look for ATM machine, another 30 mins plus for the restaurant to have light meals yet satiety...come on..what else except sushi!!???
People are crazy...started to wait since 7am...sai hmm sai ar???? no wonder the line was so long even it was only 1pm!! by 4pm, my friend started to call me, reporting the situation of the entrance..lol...was totally blocked by the fanz..!! Afraid that we can't enter, we stopped shopping and headed to the stage IMMEDIATELY!!
He wasn't very late...half an hour after 6pm, he showed up....aiya...but what the heck?!?! he sang only 1 song!!!!!!! 'things you don't know'!! come on...i want MORE!!!aiya....at least 3 songs mar...so disappointed!! me go there just for your LIVE!!!
This was captured when he got to leave to toilet halfway during the autographing...
Don't know how they arrange the time...or they underestimated the fanz in Malaysia?? Purposely organized the autograpying section before he has to leave malaysia to Beijing....Maybe they think that they can finish signing for all the fanz within one hour?! NO!!! they need at least 3 hours okay??!? I was shocked when the DJ said that LeeHom has to leave to airport at around 9pm and no more fanz will be entertained for the signature. DO you know i was the 4th person stopped at the gate?! keanchee was the first, jien yeen was the second...if they opened for 5 more mins or one more min, all of us would get to see him near!! Here comes the HERO and the rudeness...keanchee get pass the gate and run across the way to the line for autographing. So many security guards trying to stop him but failed. He was warned by the guard before he go on stage but he got it!! Since he can make it, so did Jien yeen...Jien yeen was trying to squeeze herself out from the gate and yeah, she gets off and on her way to see LeeHom..

Now, im left behind..i can't squeeze or anything as i wasn't near the opening of the gates.im in the middle of the gate, equal distance from both left sided and right sided gate but i just cant leave the crowd. Finally, the guard decided to open one gate. On the moment i heard 'let 50 to come in', i know i must make it into the TOP 50!!! 'yang bin qian ri, yong bin yi shi' my body size definitely give me advantage now. take a big step, push the people abit, and yeah...i made it into the top 5 to enter!!! Its so fun to realized that i get nervous to see him...excited and i Smiled with no reason again!! SHIT!!!
HE is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo handsome!!!!! MY GOSH!!! soooooo handsome, so polite and he is just plain amazing!!!!!!:D:D can't get my eyes off from him even i get down from stage..!!!!! and he managed to sign for all by sacrificing his time to go back to hotel to rest before he goes to hotel. and when he walked towards his car, all 3 of us were actually chasing behind him (just like what you see in movie) till he gets into the car and leave. if KC parked his car nearby, i guess we might go after him for a short while...:p:p

Keychain with very meaningful story behind it...
temporary fan while waiting...

my tired look with his signature....lol...so sad the lyrics book is almost torn....its supposed belonged to Joshua...but after i got his signs, i don't feel like giving it to him...i wish its mine....so much efforts i put to get it....no one understand the feeling unless you been there...

still, it costs me RM50...haiz....i hope im earning money by now...so i won't have to bother about money sometimes...!!!

finally, i made a deal with Joshua...the cd belongs to him..but he has to give me the keychain...and i could only remember the day with the excitement and happiness left inside my heart now!! BUt,im not regret....:-)

I was listening to this songs nonstop on saturday...that's why i was so stupiak, smiling nonstop to myself...it makes me happy....^^

Fall for this song after watching the Love in Disguise on friday...hopefully i can be 'zi qi' of someone or my 'zi qi' will appear one day!!

oh....simply love this...ps...i was dancing in my room on firday night by playing this song...haha....

so does this song...

some people said leehom wrote this song for Amei....my name is MAY....can i assumed that he is singing for me for a moment or two??

hehehe....^_^

Ps: cn't wait for the holidays....counting down from 7!!

Life is as simple as this...work, rest, enjoy, work......haha....^_^

Hugz to all my friend...especially Sue, Kel, Meizhi...dunno why i keep on thinking about meizhi recently....I miss you all...!! you are always in my heart...

feels geli? wat tat??

i guess it should warm you...^^

the one before owl city

There's a handwritten note pressed in the door of her screened in porch
And I am sailing away recalling that day miles from shore
She was still wearing white and robins egg blue, Her grandmother's dress
When I left home early this year, how I wound up here is anyone's guess
When the new sites grow old and I start to feel cold I'll sail home again

Goodbye Brielle
Only whispers can tell
Of the sweet dreams that we knew so well
I'll see you around our dear ocean town
The frozen days we set ablaze
Sent me drifting away
Like a butterfly, I floated by and now I'm alone
I wish I knew when I'll be back again
So until then I wish you well
My dear Brielle

strolling over the sand, cobblestone paths that wind through the trees
Breathing the sweet ocean air makes a shy boy aware that he could be free
When the new sites grow old and I start to feel cold I'll sail home again

Goodbye Brielle
Only whispers can tell
Of the sweet dreams that we knew so well
I'll see you around our dear ocean town
The frozen days we set ablaze
Sent me drifting away
Like a butterfly, I floated by and now I'm alone
I wish I knew when I'll be back again
So until then I wish you well
So until then I wish you well
For the time being farewell
My dear Brielle

Hujan

it's raining now, and i'm stuck in the office.

today is the day where it rains the heaviest ever since i started my internship here.

turning to the back and facing the large window, observing the rain pouring..

with the gloomy sky as background, somehow it calms me, even with occasional thunders =)

oh well, don't you just love rainy days during the super hot weather in penang?

All u need to know about INDIA

Life.Exam.Joy.Dream.

People used to think that the life in Melaka will definitely better than in India. This is what I will call it as overestimate our own country living condition and standard.

For sure, at times, i will compare Melaka and India. I used to looking forward for the return to Malaysia as i thought that i can meet family and friends more frequently; a more familiar environment will not give troubles on adaptation. But, now i have to admit that its somehow not a very suitable place to study, firstly. Next, I expected too much from Melaka (or just take Malaysia).I want everything to be perfect but they never be as there is no perfection in this world.
Hence i don't get the maximum joyful whatever I do.

Every time i go back or go to KL, i need to PLAN.
Every time i plan to leave for short holiday, I hesitate.
Every time i want to make a promise, I hold back.
Every time i go back, I worry.Every time i came to Melaka, I feel tired on traveling.
Every time i feel very hungry, I eat outside my campus;
Every time i see the bill, i feel guilty and regret.

Nothing seems to be OKay...

Lets see what is in my mind for July that i want to share now..
A student's life is nothing but study, exam and play.

starting with study...the beginning 9 days of July is the last days of me in Orthopedics posting of 4th year. Simple end of posting exam but unexpected questions. I had been worrying about the consequences of not having enough exam for this posting since the beginning of it. Yes, i didn't type wrongly. I DO hope that there is an exam for me as a practice. Despite the stress, I could gain more experience when exam goes on. God knows what kind of answer i will give when my stress level increases!:)


It was a friend's birthday on 9th july.
(I don't have to mention the name le gua?!)
almost 30 of us went to celebrate for him and another 2 friends. Oh ya, One of them is my zi mui here--Carol aka Chyong Tze... Emm, many of them said that i looked different on that night. I don't know how different do i look to him but i hope that he will not feel awful and perasan lah. Seriously, that cloth belonged to my sister which she doesn't want anymore. Haha...didn't know that an old cloth could make such a difference , just because it's a dress!? lol....hopefully he will not think that i purposely go and dress up during his birthday?! sounds like I am 'fat hao'!! After the dinner, i was surrounded by a gang of girls in the hostel. Everyone was so free after the end posting. Sadly, no news and bat thing to share with them..||| Its too late to ask me:' what's happening between you and him??' or 'both of you ON already is it?" lol...SWEAT dao....:s:S:s
My conclusion of the day is: I am good in Cheating people, acting, whatever you say and in My college, in my batch, students are good in IMAGINATION!! and of course...SUPERB 'BAT'~!!!!

Last weekend is peace. Peace in mind.
Always feel comfortable and peace whenever my family is around me.
Yeah, my parents went to KL and visit my sister--she is moving to her new house!!:)
It was a tough decision for me to go there as i need to prepare for my surgery exam. Plus, i will go to Opthalmology posting starting on 12. I failed these 2 subjects during my last sem. SO, you can't blame me for being restless even before the posting starts. ITs difficult to handle these 2 tough subjects in one time. moreover,mama and papa promised to visit me on sunday too~

FAMILY OR EXAM?!

of course family...WISE decision..follows your heart shall never give you a wrong direction.:D
my parents don't have to travel so much and my sister don't have to drive here as well. AND we got 2 full days of hanging around!!! Yippy....the happiest thing is that i can't study on sat too as some drilling processes are on in my hostel!! WIN-WIN decision wei.....:D

we went for shopping at Ikea for my sister's new house. That day, i realized that my dad is a born shopaholic!!! lol...everything he sees, he wants to buy. everything i ask, he planned to buy for me..really EVERYTHING!! he was even interested to buy candle!! Carrying a big plastic bag...he looked exactly like a shopaholic we see in the movie.

The next day, after having breakfast with my future sister in law's family, we went to 1-U to shop for dress or evening gown for me to wear during my sister's wedding.
GUess what, MY papa chose the dress for ME!!! hahahaha....so lovely of him...and he kept on laughing on me!!!!!! Blek~!
well, he has a special taste on fashion..most of the dresses he picked are beautiful and gorgeous!! Maybe this is what he thinks about his youngest daughter?:p

After KL trip, is it time for exam?! oh come on...ITS WORLD CUP!!!!!
haha...woke up in the midnight to watch it till 5 plus and attended class since 8 to 5 is respectable!...ain't i?! and of ocurse....SPAIN WON!!!kakakaka...my prediction is so accurate...haha....my dad lost in all the bets with me!!:p

Back to the real life,exam!!
and you know what?! the exam is at the evening 4:30 to 6:30...after 6hours of lec from 8 to 4!! this is not yet the worst--SOme people has another exam for posting at 7am...
The exam is considered marks counted. Mid year exam. A grand one.
BUt, conducted in our lecture hall, meaning we were sitting next to each other just like how we sat in class. You can refer to your neighbours's answer anytime and discussion can be heard from the back. The guys in our gang who were sitting behind us were actually comparing our answers!!...this sounds like the exam when we were in PRIMARY school huh?!!!!

I guess, they forgot that i failed the paper last sem which they didn't.
still, they kept saying:' May and yee yong sure know how to answer one.."
GUYZ...there is one thing called STRESS in this world!? do you all ever realized that how much tension you were putting on me?! I was very upset when i saw the questions..none of it im confident with. With your words, I feel ashamed. Because you eyed on my paper, i feel uneasy as you saw my weaknesses..!!! T_T

I went for swimming after that, hoping that the water could calm myself. but the water was just too dirty...'i know i didn't do well...but i studied what i could, what i learned....WHAT ELSE should i do to improve???' helpless feeling raised.....

" you need distraction! so that you will not think and look back at your exam now!"

THus, i was in the cinema last night. Thanks to the senior.
INCEPTION...
Drems...
Thought....
Yeah....Perfect storyline for me and the movie has successfully deviate me from thinking about the exam. The idea is so right that it hits everyone weak point: we love to dream. IN dream, we are the world!!! and if that could happen in my life, i would have confused to choose to live in reality or in the dreams...

Following that, is another insomnia night...the total hours i slept for these 3 days equals to the hours i slept during weekend....WTH!!!

Hopefully....tonight....I will have a SWEET dream..............^^

O.T

Working O.T doesn't mean that you're being hardworking,

it simply means that you're not being efficient.

(i'm FORCED to stay over time again..phekchek-ness..)

T_____T

M.L.I.A?

Okay, it started off with a dead man lying on the road just a few feet away from my house in the early morning when i was about to drive to work, can actually spot the body from my house.. hmmm, i don't know what happened, but i guess my nosy neighbors will update my mum anyway.

Then one of the air con switch in the office spoilt, which means i worked under a rather warm condition. oh bummer. then in the evening which is now, the glaring sun is piercing through the window, mind you, it's CURTAIN-less window. >.<

i'm having slight headache now, not only because of the glaring sun, but also the business plan i'm currently working on. sudden change of topic which means we have to redo the things over again. and i'm pretty much stucked because there are not much evidence and information available on the net. besides, i've office work to do and my supervisor expects me to complete it by this week (but i dun really bother about it, so i take my own sweeeeet time) =P

gosh, if i continue to work under such condition, spending long hours sitting and staring at the computer, seriously i'm gonna look older than my actual age. not to mention gaining a few more pounds perhaps??! darn, I DON'T WANT I DON'T WANT!

p/s: a few of my colleagues gonna switch to USM's office, abandon me =( huhu..

random picture i came across while slacking..

24

Just a short short update:

After started my placement, now only i truly wish that there is more than 24 hours a day.

especially for the moment i have to juggle between my workload (which is quite heavy for a new trainee) and also the preparation for the upcoming biotech business plan competition in KL, which will be held in less than 3 weeks time. i feel as if i don't really contribute much for the preparation that i kinda feel bad about it >.<

hmmm.. but looking at the bright side, i could learn a lot from all these challenges, if i'm able to overcome them, it indicates that i'm capable of doing more than i could ever imagine. so yea, 先苦后甜吧! =)

p/s: will Star Pisces nice? hehehe.. i shall see later this evening xD

a very rare chance to relax after such a hectic week, hope it'll be an enjoyable one! til then~

The Third Day

today is only my third day here doing my placement, and i'm already slacking in my workplace.

using the glaring sun as excuse to move our laptop and desktop to the living hall (there are no curtain in the room la wei..damn cham)

online using my boss's desktop, facebook-ing and msn while i'm supposed to "work", talking and laughing with my only friend here..ohhh, shu xian, look what you've done >.<

and guess what's my sitting position,

sitting on the floor leaning backward to the sofa! typing using the keyboard that is placing on my lap haha..imagine how literally "laid back" i am right now hahaha~

hmmm, today supposed to be holiday (in pg), but we dont get the change to enjoy it =(

no wonder this morning the traffic was so smooth..

okok, that's all for now..

how random is this post xD

better get back to a little bit of serious work before i get caught or something. hehee...

Another Step

just finished my 3 months classroom based training..

these 3 months passed way too fast, perhaps it was the sometimes hectic schedule, and of course with the presence of my special someone

❤

gonna start my 3-month placement from next monday onwards..

again, not really know what to expect, but hope it's something good to start with seeing the fact that i never really work before.

p/s: i'll miss you dearly, had the most amazing and occupied 3 months..

til we meet again!

=')

Full stop

It has been haunted me for quite some time...and i haunted you guyz with this topic for a long time as well.. thanks for your companion and patience to listen to all sorts of junks regarding him recently..i know its boring, and i kept on talking about him uncontrollably during our conversation..please forgive me for that...wanted to apologize long time back but sometimes just don't feel that its necessary for me to say sorry...(Im not Kel...:p)

I was quite surprised about myself that i actually felt relieved...
thanks him for making himself clear about this rumour...
think about it, i may be a fool for those who knows the truth...but i can't make any changes on it..and i shall not regret about it. ...

???????
lotz of question marks on your head? blur about what am i talking???
lol....
ask me in person then...:p

Never feel so guilty for telling lies...
I was joking with my friend that i will perform on stage for cultural events held in my college. I thought he knows that im lying seeing that we always bluff with each other, talking nonsenses...who knows he took it seriously and spread to others. They did plan to come and support...and this makes me feel sooooo sorry and guilty about it..so i m thinking...maybe i should come out with something next year...:p
Should I?

Insulted

for the first time of my 22 years life..

i never feel so insulted.. by your words

those words had hurt me deeply

and you are the one whom i've never ever thought your words could have piercing through my heart.

why?

why you want to look at things negatively and said such HARSH words?

why couldn't you look at things at my perception and rather than immersed in your own?

please, can we go back to those times where i could tell you anything i want without having to worry what your response is?

p/s: sorry that i'm not able to live up to your expectation, but i have my own life. and that's me.

holding back

SOMETIMES, i have this tendency to hold back

(yes, i mean sometimes, not all the time)

things that i wanted to say..

sentences being arranged in my mind, prepared to blurt out, but at the very last moment. i kept them instead.

text that i wanted to send..

having the urge to text the person, typed them out..

at the very last minute, clear text without sending and that's it.

actions that i wanted to do..

should i do this? and that? hmm..

maybe better don't.

i tend to HESITATE.

sometimes i think i'm a rather impulsive kind of person but on the second thought, i'm not quite.

depending on situations

perhaps because i mind.

也许我很在意别人对我的看法

i mind and care how others think, about everything, include me.

now, i wonder is that a good point or a bad one? =/

For you.

Someone said we didn't update the blog for very long already.

Someone made this song stucked in my mind for a long time.

p/s: please practise this song well!!! don't let me down =P

爱要怎麽沟通
你和我才能相拥
我的心如果你都不懂
该如何 继续让你宠

话不必那麽冲
泪早已暗自汹涌
两个人如果频率不同
说 得再多 也是言不由衷

曾经心只为你跳动
如今爱却留下伤痛

痛很深 伤很重
我的疑问 总是不断复诵

听 不懂 想不通
你的回答 永远都在跳痛

别再说 别再碰
过去种种已经变成反讽

我 是云 你是风
我们是不和谐的两个tone
唱不成一个梦

心已不跳动 还在痛

For Chocolate lovers..

chocolate could bring down cholesterol levels — but only in small amounts and only in some people, according to an analysis of eight studies.

Dr Rutai Hui of the Chinese Academy of Medical Sciences and Peking Union Medical College in Beijing and colleagues found chocolate only helped people who already had risk factors for heart disease and only when consumed in modest amounts.

Eating moderate amounts of cocoa could be “a worthwhile dietary approach” for preventing high cholesterol in certain groups of people, the researchers concluded in a report in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

The analysis came after several studies suggested that chocolate may be good for your health.

One study released in March showed that among 19,300 people, those who ate the most chocolate had lower blood pressure and were less likely to suffer a stroke or heart attack over the next 10 years.

But, like the new analysis, that research came with caveats; the difference in chocolate consumption between the top and bottom chocolate-consuming groups was around 6g, or about one-seventh of a Hershey’s milk chocolate bar.

Hui and his colleagues searched the medical literature to find studies that looked at how cocoa affected blood fats, or lipids, and found eight trials including 215 people.

When all studies were analyzed together, the researchers found eating cocoa cut levels of LDL, or “bad” cholesterol, by about 6mg/dL and reduced total cholesterol by the same amount.

But cocoa had no effect on cholesterol in the three highest-quality studies.

Further analysis showed that only people who ate small amounts of cocoa, an amount containing 260mg of polyphenols or less, experienced cholesterol lowering effects. People who consumed more showed no effect. Polyphenols are antioxidant compounds found in fruits, vegetables, chocolate and red wine. A 1.25-ounce bar of milk chocolate contains about 300mg of polyphenols.

The researchers also found that healthy people didn’t get any cholesterol-lowering benefits from cocoa, but people with risk factors for heart disease, such as diabetes, saw their LDL cholesterol and total cholesterol drop by around 8mg/dL each.

“Future research efforts should concentrate on higher-quality and more rigorous randomized trials with longer follow-ups to resolve the uncertainty regarding the clinical effectiveness,” said Hui and his team.

“Then we can really eat chocolate without feeling guilty.” — Reuters

don't like this

I dont like annoyance thingy!
But why do they like me?
Give me a break......

很烦啊！！

it's your turn.

And it's your turn!

your turn to pursue your studies overseas...

first it was may, then me, now YOU =)

wishing you well,

and most importantly, have fun!

see you in a few months time ^^

p/s:

看起来朋友很多，知心的没几个，而最关心的就是你..

remember this song? ;)

Preservatives

slow down,

stop,

take a thorough look...
you'll realize how much you've missed out all these while by not paying enough attention to the tiny minute things around you.

it's time to slow down

and enjoy =)

p/s: if only we have preservatives for positive emotions xD

Out of the blue.

[wanted to post this last night, but due to sucky internet connection, so yea.. >.<]

out of the blue, i read back some previous posts in the blog.

and then it makes me realized that how emotional i could be at times, i'm not saying that i'm not as emotional as before (maybe i am, maybe i'm not?)

anyway, after putting into some thoughts, i think I've grown up in some way, which is good.

given the same shitty situation back then, i might get pissed/angry/disappointed/or whatsoever..

but for now, i would probably react in a different kind of way.

instead of blurting out words that i might regret of saying, i choose to stay silent.

instead of accusing others for disappoint me, i choose to look at my own self and reflect.

instead of finding faults at others, i prefer self evaluation.

people were not born to please us.

we are responsible for our own happiness, isn't it so? =S

things really happen for a reason, no matter it's bad or good.

in the end, you'll get something, at least something in return.

Be it a lesson, experience, a-slap-in-the-face that wakes you up, anything...

p/s: how i wish i have selective memory loss.

is late night now....

ps: someone knocked on my door and complaint d...cannot sing in my room anymore...

Days without a thumb..

Recently, my schedule on weekend is quite fixed!!
sleep till 11 am--> lunch--> go to library-->nap + study--> exercise!!
Among all of my friends, I am the one who is free at most of the time.
free to go out, free to do anything i like, free to exercise, free to sleep non stop, oh...free to daydreaming.....as usual..:-)
Yesterday, after lunch, i went to lib with elsa. 8 pages for 2 hours. How good was this progression?!?! hence, i decided to go for some sweaty activities. haiz...Who knows, both yee yong and elsa are not free to play squash with me and elsa suggested me to invite him to play squash since he was doing nothing in lib too.

.....won't that be very weird?!!?......
but its true that at that moment, he is the only one interested and free to have a game with me.

when i wanted to send the sms to him, elsa scolded me again....:' just walk to him and ask!! WHY ARE YOU SMSING?!?!!?!'.....lol...what if he rejects me?! then walk back just like that?!?!

be natural....just asking..it doesn't matter...

he said OKAY..

and when i turned from him and walk towards my seat, i smiled..uncontrollable!! i was planning to lie to elsa, but i know my expression and happiness had sold me out!!

haiz.....how could that happen?!?!?!!! arghhh.......

and ... this is the consequences of playing squash without the an 'insulator' on the holder!


oh laugh at me...
i also dunno why the wound is in this bloody shape!!!!

Situation

If i were have to choose
i really don't want to be placed under such situation...

perhaps this is only some conflict i have with my inner-self

perhaps this feeling has nothing to do with anyone else.. is it?

i'm not sure..

对不起，

我就是那么矛盾

真的，

不是当事人

根本不能真正理解那种感觉...

p/s: hope EVERYTHING goes smoothly for YOU!

p/p/s:

你送的礼物 原来是一场劫~~

anyone has this song?

i can't seem to able to download the full song >.<

I'm 家人 No More!

If you haven't know already, today is the third day i started my internship (i'm just lazy to describe about the details here)

just wanna let you guys know that i'm so freaking drained, practically it's 9-5 everyday, excludes weekends...

fortunately.

this also means that i have stopped being a "家人", hah! you girls can't label me that anymore! kekez.. =P

truth is, i'm actually being paid to attend training classes for 3 months, how nice is that! xD

and it's a close four-digit pay! ^__________^

bet you hardly can find any internship that offers such lucrative incentive..

oh i'm so grateful about that! =)

another thing is that, spending the weekends with my special VIP makes me feel even more grateful as this chance was so hard to come by last time..

hence every moment spent together is so precious that sometimes i just wish that these 3 months can pass slower =P hehehe...

the bottom line is, at this very moment

i'm contented =)

p/s: i'm looking forward to meet you both as well (this week maybe?)!!! =D

Am i The girl?

Accidentally read this just now...
I feel that this article is writing on me..
Im speechless....

有一种女孩子在陌生人面前会很安静，很冷漠，
在熟人面前却很放肆，很霸道，
并喜欢一咋一呼的说：“滚，滚蛋，坏蛋，笨蛋”。
不要认为她很粗鲁，她只是很单纯的认为，
大家打打闹闹，骂骂笑笑，表示更亲切，更不分你我。...

这一种女孩子偶尔看到街上的情侣时，
也会幻想，也会羡慕，
幻想着将来自己的恋爱
该是多么的帅气，多么的温柔，多么的甜蜜

这一种女孩子，
喜欢和自己的姐妹在一起打闹，大呼小叫。
即使没有男朋友，
在她的世界里，也有她的骄傲！

这种女孩子也会偶尔的忧郁，
朋友问她怎么了 她也只会说没事
其实她只是感觉累了，
她只是需要一个拥抱。

这样的女孩子恋爱的时候
喜欢大事听男孩子的而在小事上调皮，耍赖。
不要认为她太小气，蛮不讲理，
其实在她调皮的习惯里已经为你收敛不少！

这样的女孩子不允许男孩子的背叛，
如果男孩子真的办了对不起她的事，
她一定会狠心的离开你。
不要怪她太绝情，
她其实很爱你，但是卑微的爱情她不要，
她果断的转身只是不想让你看见她滑落的泪水！

这样的女孩子失恋的时候会在别人面前装的很好，
大声的笑，放声的闹。
当姐妹心疼的说：“你没事吧？”
她会放下她所有的骄傲，趴到姐妹怀里哭。
哭完了，苦笑一声：没想到我还会为一个男的哭。

若她喜欢上你，请你不要在她的世界里消失。
她没有更多的要求，不会打扰你的生活。
她只是想静静的看着你，
当你的观众，仅此而已。

They are still my Favourite!!!:D

It has been a long time since my last presentation, i guess.

I feel so uneasy this afternoon, not because of the nervousness i used to have but because of the unpreparedness. Laziness was not a factor contributing to all this but a person.

The topic has been decided on Tuesday and i completed almost all on the night itself, until 2. yup..because its a main topic out of all. Who knows, Yesterday, other group members came to tell that the lecturer expect 2 peoples to handle my topic. Since i had already completed most of it, what she needs to do is just to add more details on it. i was expecting her to send the finalized slides to me before 12midnight. However, when i received her call 15 minutes to 12, she told me what she is going to add and she will do it in the next morning.

WHAT?!

That means, i got to present on spot?!

and do you know what time she started to prepare the slides?
10am! she skipped the morning lecture class half way to do the slides. and i only got the slides in the noon.

When the presentation was going on, i feel so uneasy. (bu shi zi wei)
Im not saying what i had done was excellent. But, the time and effort put on it shouldn't be ignored. Half of her slides are made by me; what she added for me is covered by the previous presenter.

Im not criticizing a friend as such. But, couldn't she be more sensitive that not everyone is able to present properly on spot or with limited preparation? If im a good presenter, will i waste my time to urge you to give me the slides as early as possible??

Though i stopped CheeKhang when he was saying that she is lazy as she hasn't prepare the slides by morning, i couldn't agree more with Chen Chuan when he said that she is 'bu shang xin'. If I know im going to be busy on Wednesday night, i would have done the slides by tuesday or even earlier.

Thanks to Sue as well as Yumigo.
Smile has put on my face again as im listening to the music while composing this post.... :-)

The road less travelled?

It takes time

though i don't know how long

to figure out what i really want..

uncertainties cause uneasiness

should i go with the flow?

or should i take the road less travelled? =S

somehow i prefer to take things slow,

because if things tend to go too fast, i'll feel as if i'm losing control..

but what should i do if i'm not fast enough as others expect me to?

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yiruma...your music is always oh so calming... =)

Love Lockdown

found this accidentally in our col comp lab this morning while editing my presentation...fa xie a lot!!

Have i told you lately?

Olivia oh Olivia..

how i love your angelic voice...

在晚上听你的歌特别有feel xD

Have I told you lately that I love you

Have I told you there's no one above you

Fill my heart with gladness

Take away my sadness

Ease my troubles, that's what you do

Oh the morning sun in all its glory

Greets the day with hope and comfort too

And you fill my life with laughter

You can make it better

Ease my troubles that's what you do

There's a love that's divine

And it's yours and it's mine

Like the sun at the end of the day

We should give thanks and pray to the One

Have I told you lately that I love you

Have I told you there's no one above you

Fill my heart with gladness

Take away my sadness

Ease my troubles, that's what you do

There's a love that's divine

And it's yours and it's mine

And it shines like the sun

At the end of the day we will give thanks

And pray to the One

Have I told you lately that I love you

Have I told you there's no one above you

Fill my heart with gladness

Take away my sadness

Ease my troubles, that's what you do

Take away my sadness

Fill my life with gladness

Ease my troubles that's what you do

The lost is not found.

Anyone who is sensitive enough, able to tell that I am in a confusion.

My aims are no longer CLEAR nor SHARP.
I don't care how well i can do in my exam, all i want is just to pass the exam. And i do really mean so.. No extra effort was put to pass with a higher marks. Hence the outcome of being lazy is i failed 3 subjects out of 6. 2 of them was failed by 2 marks.
Yes, i failed half.
is it considered as a pass since i managed to pass 3 out of 6?!

Sometimes, i wish someone could have just slap me off and wake me up!

My determination has weakened.

I knew it. I knew IT!

but, Im doing nothing to strengthened it.

Im trying.
Hopefully i m able to find the lost determination and dedication?!

I don't want to be a loser.

thousands of excuses im able to give just to excuse me from being slacking.
but the excuses are going to make me a loser FOREVER!

the same dilemma goes for another problem--the 'HIM' and I!
the more i want to keep a distance from him, the more the chances for us to meet.
He is officially one of those im meeting the most in a day now.

I speak what i wish; but i don't act the way i should be.
Im calling him out whenever is possible, joining him for every outing.. yes, i wish to see him more.
but another May inside my mind is objecting!!
day after day, he never leave my mind!! heck...!!

The truth never lies, and it says, our lives are on different way. Im not able to walk into his life.

So, am i able to regain the courage and enthusiasm in doing everything to reach the set target?!?

i don't know...simply don't know....
but i know...
i HAVE TO...

im listening to ku guo jiu hao le by liang wen yin...
how i wish everything can be solved after crying?!?!!!