The lost is not found.

Anyone who is sensitive enough, able to tell that I am in a confusion.

My aims are no longer CLEAR nor SHARP.
I don't care how well i can do in my exam, all i want is just to pass the exam. And i do really mean so.. No extra effort was put to pass with a higher marks. Hence the outcome of being lazy is i failed 3 subjects out of 6. 2 of them was failed by 2 marks.
Yes, i failed half.
is it considered as a pass since i managed to pass 3 out of 6?!

Sometimes, i wish someone could have just slap me off and wake me up!

My determination has weakened.

I knew it. I knew IT!

but, Im doing nothing to strengthened it.

Im trying.
Hopefully i m able to find the lost determination and dedication?!

I don't want to be a loser.

thousands of excuses im able to give just to excuse me from being slacking.
but the excuses are going to make me a loser FOREVER!

the same dilemma goes for another problem--the 'HIM' and I!
the more i want to keep a distance from him, the more the chances for us to meet.
He is officially one of those im meeting the most in a day now.

I speak what i wish; but i don't act the way i should be.
Im calling him out whenever is possible, joining him for every outing.. yes, i wish to see him more.
but another May inside my mind is objecting!!
day after day, he never leave my mind!! heck...!!

The truth never lies, and it says, our lives are on different way. Im not able to walk into his life.

So, am i able to regain the courage and enthusiasm in doing everything to reach the set target?!?

i don't know...simply don't know....
but i know...
i HAVE TO...

im listening to ku guo jiu hao le by liang wen yin...
how i wish everything can be solved after crying?!?!!!

Don't stop believing!

i will move on..move on!!!^_^

the only thing

Playing the organ always soothe me, especially when i'm tense or upset.

and tonight, playing you at this very odd hours,

you cheered me up again.

the only thing in the world that will never let me down (unless you break down yourself! >.<)

huuhaaaa, feeling so much better now, i guess.

and it's time to get some beauty sleep...

It’s sad when you have all these

amazing, stupid, horrible or depressing thoughts,

but no one to tell them to.

New Record

Should i call this a new record or new achievement?!

on my first day of 4th year, i was told that i failed 2 subjects in the morning itself.

I failed surgery with 2 marks to 50; sad case, but it was tough and i didn't finish reading. So, blame myself for not studying hard!

The worse is Ophthalmology.

I failed with 30 something ONLY!
great, isn't it?! the ever first time in my life to get such marks!?
But the funny part in failing it is that only around 10 in my class passed it.
...out of 132 students. Meaning, less than 10% of students passed!

Still, the lecturers think that the reason why we failed is from ourselves.

Hope that this is going to be the worst ever, no more results come worse than this. PLEASE!

4th year schedule is not a joke! A total lifeless time will come to me soon!
BUt, before that, i will have 8 weeks of a comparatively relaxing posting first. ^_^

and, don't always ask me when will be my holidays. This makes me down.
My entire 4th year will have only one week of holiday !!!!
DAMN! 2 weeks is too little for us and they are trying to shorten it to 1?!

Next shocking news for me today will be the reconstruction of the groups;
one of my good friend yee yong is leaving me to another group--sad and i will be helpless again.
no one is going to remind me and teach me this and that.
wei han is going with YY too-- less jokes will be surrounding me!!

guess who is joining me in the New group?! ;)

ps: i saw a very nice lemon yellow nike sport shoes just now!!!!!

it's not pink.

hopefully this camera won't follow my previous cameras' footsteps! where they ALL ended in some horrible kind of way.. =/

and i guess this cam will do me good on my coming big day, eventhough i don't have a DSRL like Gweela's geng geng EOS 50D! no money to buy la that one...damn expensive wei~

note to self: fast fast finish your essay lazy bum! time's running out >.<

i wanna get this internship ler...cuz i don't want to be "jia ren" already! sick of being one..

one more week to go! :D

counting down counting down...

by the way, this song is sooooo freaking addictive! sick beat!

Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I'm feelin so fly like a G6

p/s: fyi, my favourite colour isn't PINK (eventhough my cam and laptop are pink =S i'm not as girlish as it seems!), again, my fav colour is not PINK!

365 days ago.

exactly one year ago, i started my third year in UoA.

seeing some of my friends going back to adelaide, begin to attend lectures and stuff, makes me feel really nostalgic. i was part of all these last year.

even though sometimes the culture, the people and the environment all seemed to be so surreal, however, they grew on me as time went by.

but now here i am, once again i'm being placed in a position where i've to decide what to do next.

standing at the crossroad is so not fun, to make it worse, people around keep giving me pressure by repeatedly asking what's my plan, have i done this or that, or i should do this and that...

i know you mean well, but please.. gimme a break leh @.@

spotted this on my study table in one of the uni's study room last time, while i was stressed reading journals and jotting down notes.

it totally made my day back then, thanks to whoever scribbled it :D

- don't worry, it's just a phase you're going through -

thank you for not letting go when i said let me go.. ♪

- I'm Done by Pussycat Dolls

love this song, mostly because of this particular line...

p/s: countdown-ing, 18 days! xD