it has been not very pleasant week for me...things did not work out as i've expected and...i let myself DOWN.
first is some miscommunications/ misunderstandings between my parents and me,
then is the problem i faced in my studies....not to forget some "political" issues in the class....
pressure is all i got from the people around me! why they have to push me so hard? i really don't get it....
but yet, i didn't let me feeling show...i really don't want people to use that against me. i know i'm over-protective of myself, but i just couldn't help it....
take today for example, i had a really really bad day in college...for the first time i felt like crying, at that instant,
i can feel a sharp sensation at the back of my eyes and i know if i didn't manage to control myself, tears will be flowing out....and THAT would be the most humiliating moment since i attended college. obviously i don't want that to happen...
apparently i feel so useless....and totally lost all the confidence in myself, i don't know how long will this last. feel as if i'm the only underdog in class...it's really sucks when some people think that they are superior than the others, and in fact, people like me is easily intimidated. easily annoyed too.
i don't know what's wrong with me, i just feel very very very useless now... :(
my current mood is all reflected by the colour of the wordings. Grey-ish.
i'm like an over-pumped balloon which is about to burst... KA-BOOM!
hopefully this is just PMS...
5 gimme more:
well...
those ppl that think they are better than you are usually those that dont have confident on themselves...
the brilliant ppl are usually very humble one...
anyway..what's happening between your parents and you??
i'm not the kind that label people whether they are the clever or not-so-clever...cuz i know everyone have their own speciality, their own talent...so i treat everyone the same in class. But somehow some people are just like to do THAT! Grrr...that makes me really sick!
about my parents, just something about uni stuff that we couldn't get along...besides my mum keeps nagging me, she wanted me to sit for the electone exam at the end of the year, but i don't have the intention to sit for the exam this year, as i already have a lot of pressures from doing this biotech course. i told her i'll sit for the exam next year but she just couldn't stop nagging!
i was depressed for the whole saturday last week you know...dunno why everything bad comes at ONCE!?
just ignore those fellow...ok..let's see...
when he or she is doing something that is irritating..just tell yourself that:'
guo fen? yao mo gao cuo ar...that's bad..i don't want to be like her~" and just IGNORE it!
or just thinking that as one of the motivation~well, if ppl is labeling you as a clever one, just make it as and courage to push you forward~but, this kind of courage has to come from yourself..don't always think that they are putting pressure on you! instead of that, you ought to realize that no one can ever influence you if you DO NOT want them to~!
i think your mum will understand if you try to explain to her once more..or maybe you can try to ask her what;s the reason she wants you to take it now?
yea, i always see it as some sort of motivation...the more you look down at me, the more i strive!
so....keep on looking down at me lahh!
my mum wanted me to sit for the exam cuz she said as i'll go to australia, and by then i will stop the lesson already...dunno it's a good or lame reason...
now i'm feeling much better than the moment i wrote this blog =)
thanks for all the words of courage and hope the best for you too!
*hug*
yeah!!
nobody can beat you down except yourself!
this is what i keep reminding myself nowadays!!
haha....
good!!
hey...but i think what your mum said is quite reasonable too..
maybe its more expensive if you take over aus or she afraid that its not convenience to take in aus?
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