losing grip...

guess i've never been feeling so damn down before...
from this morning til the night, everything just didn't seem to go the right way..
i'm losing grip...
i'm so upset until i didn't have the mood to do anything besides studying...by this way i'm hoping that i'm able to load lotsa informations into my brain so that there's no space left for other craps/bullshit or whatever you call it.
why things always don't go the way i wanted?
i'm always at the losing end no matter how hard i try...
no matter how HARD i try....

i need some times of my own
self-isolation from now on til this coming monday
no msn, no phone calls, no anything.
i just want to be alone for once.

i'm just sick of pretending...
pretend that i'm fine when everything is not...