Room For Three

5-1-2012

2012-01-05T19:29:00.002+08:00

I know today is your birthday..sue...

i was very very happy today until the evening when i received a sms after class...

I somewhat cannot be happy again..

remember my Zhang lao shi..who taught me calligraphy?? he passed away d..

I alwaysa fraid someone will pass away when im away from home..and when it does happen..i seriously got a slap on my face and dunno how to react... I was such a student who seldom listen to teacher.. sarcastically, the teacher that i respect and treasure the most leave the earliest... I would say he is the only teacher that teach me everything, attitude, behaviour, manners, patience, confident, skills... always encourage me and feel happy for every achievements his students get. and i seriously can chit chat with him.. tell him what's my fear, share with him bits and there of fun..

haiz...

树欲静而风不止...is not only applicable to parents...whoever you feel thankful to him, whoever you appreciate... whoever means a lotz to you..always treasure the time together before everything goes too late...

把握当下，珍惜眼前人.....

I will always remember what you taught me... always appreciate my friendship with jian fa, jian hao, sze kee, cindy, su yun or even karying, yuwei, and other people.. it was you who made us meet, know each other and become good friends.. i shall never forget to become a good daughter, a good person....

你，看开了吗？

2011-12-09T00:44:00.005+08:00

学会看开，人也会比较快乐，

不是每一样东西都会随你意，

当一件事，不如你期待的那样，

就该学会从另外一个角度看，

看通了，看开了，

也不会再一直执着于不如意的小事，而搞到自己不开心。

人家要怎么对你，你控制不到，

还记得有一句话：

“别人对你好是你的福气，别人对你不好也很正常”

可是，你能控制你自己，所以

要学会每一件不如意的事，都以不同的角度来看，

这样，日子也会比较好过，人也快乐一点 =）

快乐是自找的

2011-12-05T19:36:00.001+08:00

快乐是自找的，不是你给我的！i like this sentence =D
suddenly listen back to this song...so got feel~

无奈! 无奈!! 我只能说......

2011-12-03T22:59:00.001+08:00

别太高估你自己......

也别太小看了我......

看来我又证明了...我真的很符合天.蝎.座 !! ^_^

2011-11-03T22:11:00.002+08:00

Wishing I can just hide behind you....

Leaving all the troubles for you....

whatever I yet to accept....

whichever I can't take it....

Please let me home....

everyone and everything I want...

is there!!

安稳地过着平凡的日子，

却因为些许琐事，

让我见到自己的落莫与不欢

和失去平衡点的我。

我不停地逃，不由自主地逃，茫无目的地逃，

却让我的生活越发惆怅...

高估了自己的我，唯有继续嘲笑镜子前的[她]；

因为[她]

和我一样，

不舍得，舍不得，

可都知道，总得放下..

以为抛开很容易，才知道，学问大着呢...

偏偏还要面对白痴的冷嘲热讽 (白痴是本小姐所能想到最客气，最斯文的称呼了)

我以为我很坦然，却不知我在压抑着另一个自己...

我别无他法，这是我潜意识能想到唯一的法子...

我需要更多的力量，我非回不可...

家，真的是我的寄托..

而现在，我很需要它来帮我暖心.......

将成为往事.....

2011-10-15T22:44:00.006+08:00

终于弄明白了...他真的...嗯.....

很惊讶他竟然说了那么多...但我觉得我超语无伦次....我都不知道我自己在说什么叻....

我竟然答了他这么多的问题....我竟然没有因为要面子而骗他...我都不愿意骗他叻...真难得....都不知道我是天真单纯抑或傻......

还好我没在他面前哭...

那就继续尽量保持那份潇洒吧?!

其实，仔细想想，我这次是做对了...至少我断绝了继续胡思乱想的机会，我可以坦荡荡的面对他...

或许我的言行举止还是和之前没两样，可是心态肯定就变了，因为我不需要压抑，也不需要演戏...反正没什么秘密了...

算是松了一口气吧...不过...哈哈...我很喜欢他跟我说话时看着我....

我很开心，因为你没有让我觉得你在轻视我..

我有些气，因为你真的在用‘拖’字诀...

我很抱歉，因为你依然牵动着我...

我很感激，因为你提醒了我，我应该用功读书...

我头很痛，因为我把所有的伤心，忍住和水吞下去...

唉....我好想回家.....

ps: 如果一有人帮我制造绯闻我就喜欢上谁，那么我大概有情史了.....

2011-10-11T00:48:00.000+08:00

自己的眼泪，自己擦...

2011-10-09T02:12:00.001+08:00

I think that was a wrong decision....

I don't wish to see you at this moment.....

I think i can't proceed further.....

I will stop here.........

被我无聊的浪费掉的周末.。。。。.

2011-10-02T21:00:00.005+08:00

闷闷的过了两天....

常常以为我拥有太少的时间来过个慵懒的周末，满足的睡觉...

可，人就是犯践的。得不到的时候却强求，得到时却觉得太漫长!!

如果有一台摄影机放置在我房间的话，大概有人会送我去医院了...

躺在床上对着毫无布置的天花板，若有所思；

挺直的坐在椅上，一会儿双眼呆滞的望着窗帘，一会儿入格的盯着桌上的notes,却一面也没翻过~

电脑播着一首又一首的歌曲，却好像没几首歌能让我回神。

最夭寿的事是当电话铃声响起时....

我好像太神经质了...真没想到我会那么心神不宁.......

能不由得我紧张吗?

我挣扎了两年在这‘说与不说’之间...‘说’ 了的后果不知在我脑海盘旋过多少次了...

可当我知道有人告诉他时，我有多手足无措???

真是的，我要是真的不好好控制我自己的话，我要是真的想让你感觉到的话，我还倒不如直接告诉你算了，兜这样大的圈子干嘛?苯啊?!

每个人都不断地嘲笑我说我太明显了，那我敢不收敛吗??

现在怎样??很想当我司机是吗?整天叫你载我出去，你很得空是不是!??

我真的没有约你出去过吗?难道要写明 ‘ can i date you' 才叫约吗!?

我什么都不做就已经被人看穿，谣言满天飞了；我真的付诸行动的话，倒不如直接一点，我倒追你啦!???

是不是觉得很无言?!

算了...我自找的............

ps: 我很庆幸，是别人告诉你的........

巴厘岛之旅~

2011-09-11T00:18:00.002+08:00

A summary to be made..... hehez...

If you want a budget trip..forget about bali!!

If you think there is no difference between INDia and INDonesia, you are naif!!

If you think you can only get tan when you go to beach, get ready for sunburned...

If you are a carnivore, you should start planning your trip!

If you hates temples, be prepared that you will get bored..

If you think india's life has already given you a strong immunity, challenge it again with Bali..

If you never bargain and think that bargain is embarrassing, please bring lotz of dollar!

If you would like to enjoy the hospitality...Welcome to Bali...^^

Grandma's words......

2011-07-14T21:06:00.003+08:00

Do you ever realized that my heart is broken..??

I tried to forget...but when i listen to this song, I can't help but feel down...

哀莫大于心死!!

why must you be so unfair??

all of us are your grandchildren...i don't mind you treat others better but at least you don't take me as nothing!!!

Who am I to you??

Other ppl grand daughter or your own granddaughter with the surname of O.Y?!

I know you like to show off, so i keep quiet....

I know you like them more than I, so let it be...

BUt can you please stop saying words or do something that may hurt me?!?!

I wanted to recall whichever things that considered a good memory between you and me..unfortunately, I realized you never been sincere to me..

you smiled at me, because others are looking at us! not because of you are happy to see me~

you praised me, because people say im good! not because of you are proud of me~

you talk to me, because i will help you to do something! not because of you miss me~

Last saturday, you made me understand that no matter what i do, I will never be the one that you will love or care! So, i decided, I shouldn't include you as one that i should make proud of...

whatever you do, you are just acting; whatever you say, they are just the script.

But my life isn't a movie of your production!!!

Down to Happy

2011-06-26T16:00:00.005+08:00

I've realized a quick way to distract yourself from sorrow (even its only for a short while), is to look back at those old photos in your laptop/photo albums. At least for me, it does help to ease the pain a little.

Looking back at my previous trips photos, photos with friends back in old times, really leave a grin on my face. Temporarily forget those unpleasant stuff, traveling back to old times, immersing myself in happier memories..

I can make myself happy, if i want to.. =)

p/s: the reason why i like to take photos, it's because even though the people inside the photos changed, the camera captured something that remained forever.

the smile =)

When it happens to me..

2011-04-01T09:07:00.003+08:00

This is not the first time i fail an exam...

remember i failed my mathematics during my HSC..lolz...MATHEMATICS!! though only 2/3 marks, i was down because for a careless mistake to pass...

When i sit for the first test in med course..i failed as well..one mark....all confident gone...

after that...i had been doing really well, keeping myself in above moderate level, trying my best to do the best...

Since i came back to melaka, everything has changed..things seem to gone back to the beginning point when i was the poor student. I knew something went wrong..My scores are always at the last row in my group, i know im lack of knowledge..maybe i realized too late...many incidents happened throughout the year which bothering me so much...

Perhaps im overconfident?

Perhaps im too proud?

Perhaps I enjoyed or played too much?

Perhaps I just need to overcome the panic when i got to present???

Perhaps i need more time to study???

Perhaps the way i used to study is wrong?

I have only one night...

HA! to decide so many damn thing instead of being sad and down...cruel...*

i don't know my presence in outings with my friends will make them kekok or feel bad?? they can share my happiness, but why must they share my sorrows!?

i don't know what's the best for me...continue to study myself? ask my friends to revise with me( so i got to go to taiwan with them) while having fun a bit? or go back home to get some hugz and complete rest??

making decision is never a tough job for me (maybe for kel a bit bit?? hehez...)

but now... It matters..

I try to be rational.. (cool huh..)

but im just a normal human being...

no matter how strong am i, there will be things i cant take it..

lolz...i seriously overlook my self image....

now, how to face the crowds??

how long i can put on smile on my face and tell others that im fine??

I know what has happened is not the worst...is yet to be a BIG deal.. but....but.......

should i just go home and deep myself to my mama and papa and let them protect me??

after all.. 23 years old seems to be a huge number.. but its so minute that can turn me into a little girl in a sec!!

now think like that..*keep telling myself...

wipe off the tears...tears help nothing!!! cry till tsunami also won't change the fact...

I need to work out something!!!! THINK MAY...THINK!!! What should i do next?!!?!?!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn IT!!!! HOW COULD I MAKE MYSELF FAILS SUCH IMPORTANT FINALS EXAM!??!!!!!!! DAMN!!

ps: All of you may not read this...

but thanks to valerie and wc who gave me a hug last night; thanks to Kent who offered me to help me to revise; yeeyong for offering me to leave the crowds, elsa and jy for calling me out for dinner, marine yeeyong and jy for companion, yentsen billy ck kc for msging me, my lovely sister to console me, my parents for their consideration and they never question why but just say the good things....:-)

I m lucky to be surrounded by friends and family at every stage of my life...

single words from you guys really means a lots...xue zhong song tan is not even a good enough word to describe what you have just done...The touch i felt deep to my heart..i will always remember that...as this the most precious thing in the world...

your initiative to comfort me speaks that at least you understand me...I wanted to be alone..but i need your accompany too...though i didnt say anything to you...

You have no idea.

2011-03-30T18:54:00.005+08:00

All of people to judge, why you have to judge me..

All of people whom i thought will judge me, why you..

You've known me since the day I've born, you should know me better than anyone else in the world. but sadly, NO..i can confirm that, you never know me.

Am i so bad in your eyes?

Am i so cheap in your eyes?

Am i always not good enough for you?

Why? WHY!!!

why you always have to PIN-POINT me? as if what I did never seem good enough for YOU and only YOU?

you put me down, thrashed me all around,

Why the fark you said those words to me?

it hurts me deeply. i don't think i will forgive you anytime soon.

mind you, this is not the FIRST time you do this to me.

This explains why i never tell my stuff to you, and you hardly know anything about me. Shame on you, shame on you.

For God's sake, i'm 23 years old.

You can't expect to always lock me in you cage and not making decision for my own.

You can't expect me to live in your OWN expectation. You're not me.

Things Happen

2011-03-17T13:45:00.006+08:00

这次，我真的彻底失望了

在你还没跟我说之前，我是非常非常非常期待

甚至于，我傻到每一天都在 countdown 着那一天的来临

其实，这件事没有人预料到，

只能怪我们的timing 不对

期待了，兴奋着，被现实打击，失望了，伤心了，那又能怎样？

还不是得勉强着笑容，说：没关系，never mind.. things happen..

整件事来的顺其，可是我觉得一点都不自然.

也突然发现，

失望了还勉强笑着，

真的很难看

p/s: things happen.. but can we make a change?

UPDATE =)

2011-03-16T18:40:00.004+08:00

Hello Hello,

It has been awhile since i last update myself

Hmm... So far I have a GREAT life, as God has promised me!!

Some might know and some might not know I am now teaching in a private school. I have grown and learnt alot so far, but I am still learning and growing =)

The school for me is a wonderful place to work. The bosses have been great so far. They all VIP in some other companies, and I am blessed to have them as my boss. Because they really are wise people with a great heart.

My students!! hahaha... the one make me smile and make me frown all the time. Some are sweet, some are a little bit worry, haha. But I do have great moments with them. Some walked with me while be put our hands on each other shoulders, some praise for me, some cheers when they know I am with them in their group.

However, there are sad part too. Some they do not know how to respect, some they are not being respect, some they are drew away from the things on earth, some they are drew away because of their families issues. It is sad to see things on earth could be so hurtful to a person or a family.

Let me give you an Example, just like relationship. Nowadays people are living in a life of I DO NOT CARE!! and I JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!!

These attitudes might be okay for sometime, but it is definitely NOT OK for most of the time. If a family grew up with this kind of attitude, the child would have a lot of attitude problems. I saw a lot of cases in school where the students problems are mostly come from the family problems. Sometimes we might think our simple little deeds are nothing, but it reflects yourself.

There is one child who has anger controlling problems, he does not know how to manage his anger or temper. He even hit the teacher when he does not like the teacher's order. Later on, the teachers found out that he actually HAS A VERY ANGRY FATHER at home who will hit his mother when he is not happy. The school has kinda 'tame' him down, I think the parents divorced later on and he is now a great and smartest kid in class.

There is much more cases to share, but it's too long to share. I just want to say don't fall for the things on earth. And make everything you do and say counts =)

Have a great day, God bless =)

我不明白!!!

2011-02-17T21:48:00.002+08:00

最近被人当成是个糊弄友情的人...心情超糟的....!!

在茫茫人海中，两个人的相遇，永远都不可能是偶然!

相遇能化成相知，也能回到陌生!

相知的人互相信任,陌生的人不留痕迹。

信任，

只有15笔划的二字，却足以维持任何一段友情。

不是吗??

人与人的相处，总会有摩擦...

只要彼此信任，不管意见分歧，吵架拌嘴,相隔万里....

都不过是小菜一碟吧?!

既然，你跟我谈‘真心’，为什么你不愿相信我?!

我一直都真心诚意的培养着这段友情，从没对你虚情假意过，可偏偏你选择忽视..

如果你我真的是真心朋友，为什么你要怀疑我没有待你至诚?!

你放弃这段友情，是因为你选择不再信任我，而不是我辜负了你...

因为我从来没有怀疑过你对我的友情!

如果你认为只有你认定的,那一种对待朋友的方式是‘真心’唯一的代表的话，那我无话可说...

真的只能沉默.....

情之初衷，总会让人开心，难过。

这世界上并不可能有完美的事情。完美，纯粹只是个让人向往的仙界.....

我不是个完美的人，但如果，身为朋友的你，是相信我的话，

你我都能拥有完美的友情!

Happy Valentine's Day...

2011-02-15T01:29:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentine's !!:D

hehez...enjoy lah....

A Simple heart makes everybody happy~~

^__^

让我欢喜，让我忧.....

2011-01-14T20:14:00.002+08:00

read this from one of my friend's blog...haiz...

what can i say....every sentence every words mean a lotz to me...

not because im the 'she'...

is because im the 'he'...

is truly how i feel, experienced throughout the period of time...

未爱过，所以不大懂得爱。不懂怎么将爱定义。但你说你看见她会莫名地开心，喜欢跟她一起玩。

总喜欢找机会在言辞上损她、取笑她。但是也会心疼她。

会维护她。会为她辩护。然后善忘的你，会记得带药给她。

“她绝对不是我的茶。”

那是你当时倔强的话。

后来你发现，只有她能给你温暖、幸福的感觉。

她很普通的一句问候、小小的动作，你却可以感动万分。

同时你也很感伤，因为你清楚知道，她从来不属于你。

她是他的啊。

你偶而会觉得气愤，怎么能够如此脆弱？怎么能够让一个人牵动着你的喜怒哀乐？

而且是个不属于你的人。唉……

然后你发现所有的情歌，忽然间都充满了意义。

怎么旋律能够如此伤感？怎么歌词那么贴切？歌词的意境怎么似曾相识？

然后你怀疑，写词的根本是盗用你的心情、你的故事、你的感觉。

慢慢就可以戒了她的吧。时间会默默支持你。

然后故事中的你会渐渐消失。你故事中的她也会渐渐消失。

然后故事渐渐消失。。

尝过了苦涩、酸涩，下一次，一定可以品尝爱情的甜蜜。

加油加油！！

P/s:

关于爱情，你好像懂了一点吧。

灵魂终究比较重要。

你发现你寻觅的是灵魂的伴侣(soulmate)。而那些预设的框框可以通通被打烂。"

读着读着....心里真是有莫名的感触...

time passes.....time flies.....but why...nothing seems to have changed?!?!

Having....

2011-01-09T11:17:00.002+08:00

Im sick of having

palpitation at most of the days...

diarrhea whenever i get palpitation and nervousness...

uneasy and uncomfortable whenever im nervous......

'something going to happen' awareness which will make my mood down and having bad temper...

negative thoughts here and there....

worry of this and that which are all unnecessary...

predicting the future....

dealing with interpersonal skills....

getting frustrated for minor or major thingy but out of my control...

easily get distracted by good of nothing.....

fights in my mind between sleep or being awake....

.............

helps are needed....

rest and break are much more appreciated now....

my poor little soul.....

HEART SOUL AND MIND....are essential unbroken relationship in life......

i realized....JUST realized.......

don't

2011-01-09T01:35:00.000+08:00

Don't make decisions when you're angry.

Don't make promises when you're happy.

Happy Birthday

2011-01-06T13:07:00.002+08:00

If I'm Still There..

2010-12-09T14:10:00.003+08:00

If i would have to stay in korea for extra one more week,
i would have witnessed this today, as of 09/12/2010~

beautiful =)

but I have no fate with snow. (sigh)

p/s: Pics taken from Kaist by Ridha (one of the Kaist-ian met during my 2 months there~)

Bogo Sipeoyo

2010-11-27T15:34:00.003+08:00

alright...

i know i've not been updating this blog ever since the first post in korea >.<

but now here i am, typing this last post from korea before i head back to malaysia.

2 months passed just like that, but memories have been created and stored.

from not knowing anything about korea to knowing at least something now hehehe..

things have been great throughout the stay here. i'll miss the culture, the people, the FOOD (especially samgyeopsal and those typical korean food), the freedom, the SHOPPING heaven..etc..

i'm glad that i'll be back to meet my loved ones soon and after this, i know my life won't be the same again (even though i might rot at home for a little while haha =P)

stay tuned for updates..

and dun give up on our blog LOL..

annyeonghaseyo! ^^

2010 2010

2010-10-21T10:09:00.006+08:00

20.10.2010

Memorable day for my family--my sister's 26th birthday ; the day when she becomes Mrs Lock legally.....:-)

emm...feels weird....

Still remember i wasn't very like my sis's bf when we first met..remember, i used to complaint this and that about him to you guyz....high expectation and being very strict and not friendly to him.... as time goes, i become feelingless...don't like him, don't hate him....

and then, I started to treat him as my friend without realization....

then, i helped him to prepare his wedding's stuffs....It sounds weird when i recalled that i actually did that!!

I was having dilemma whether i should skip class and attend her ROM for like about 2 weeks.

should i go? shouldn't i go?? had been haunting me for 2 weeks till the afternoon of tuesday!! maybe i need the help of rose to decide?? The decision was made as simple as such: there is no return if you miss a moment with the loves one especially family.. The happiness of being together to witness a marriage ceremony of only sister is priceless...

recalling the faces of my papa, mama and my sis...they are actually very very happy to see me there though they kept nagging me for skipping class...even her bf...opps......~!!

SOmehow, i accepted the 'brother-in-law' (correct?!@@)

when it started?? i don't know...

but as long as Sis is happy!! the moment i find him bully my sis...........wo yao ta hao kan!!!XD

Huggiez to my beloved friends and family..!!~ the most important people in my life...^_^

ps: my room is fulled with love now!!:D

After All the Busiesss

2010-10-11T19:45:00.003+08:00

It's time to get back reality =)

May and Sue might get really surprise that I posted something here, lol

I am now officially unemployed, hahaha.. And it's kinda freaks me out in the early of this stage as I need to write resume!!!!! And I was like finding excuses from doing it, hahha... I've started it few hours ago and up till now, all I got in my resume is just my name, address, mobile and e-mail... hahha

Bore fills me while I am watching shows and playing games randomly for the WHOLE day in Belfast, and then I started to think my life should have something more than that, lol. Feel like moving on my life =)

However, I am kinda clueless where to go and what to do. What my future boss gonna be? Where am I going to stay? What kinda suffocating jobs that I'm gonna get? What kinda restless days I am going to get myself into?

People are always unsatisfiable like me, lol. I know, we're not going to happy with whatever we get. But I am still grateful for all the graces =)

Even though I do not have a clear vision in my future, but I really do have faith in God =)

Peace out =P

How come?

2010-10-02T22:19:00.005+08:00

I'm being such a cry baby lately...

it's has only been the first day here but i'm hoping to go back already..

perhaps starting the first day with some unfortunate events make me homesick, been missing him like crazy and having the urge to go back so badly.

eventhough it's only for 2 months, i never feel so lonely here and ironically i'm here with another 7 people, compared to last time when i went over to adelaide alone, i didnt feel so much lonely back then.

i never feel anything like this before, even my mum wanted to off the skype just now i still purposely like dragging the conversation to be longer.

i need to be strong!

i must be strong!

maybe it's time to sleep, will probably feel better tomorrow~

LeeHom!!!^_^

2010-08-27T13:09:00.006+08:00

The first photo tells everything...i went to KL last Sunday for The ONLY ONE autographing session for LeeHom in Malaysia! I was very indecisive whether to go or not..too much to worry..i was sick on that week..all the assignments are procrastinated, worry will be too tired to travel...worry i will regret....but everything settled when Joshua said he hopes that i can help him to get the signature..meaning i get to go on stage and see him within cms~!!

Jien Yeen and I went to KL in the sunday morning by bus for this one day trip! Haha...we were very blur...we reached 1-U around 1pm, wasted half an hour to look for ATM machine, another 30 mins plus for the restaurant to have light meals yet satiety...come on..what else except sushi!!???
People are crazy...started to wait since 7am...sai hmm sai ar???? no wonder the line was so long even it was only 1pm!! by 4pm, my friend started to call me, reporting the situation of the entrance..lol...was totally blocked by the fanz..!! Afraid that we can't enter, we stopped shopping and headed to the stage IMMEDIATELY!!
He wasn't very late...half an hour after 6pm, he showed up....aiya...but what the heck?!?! he sang only 1 song!!!!!!! 'things you don't know'!! come on...i want MORE!!!aiya....at least 3 songs mar...so disappointed!! me go there just for your LIVE!!!
This was captured when he got to leave to toilet halfway during the autographing...
Don't know how they arrange the time...or they underestimated the fanz in Malaysia?? Purposely organized the autograpying section before he has to leave malaysia to Beijing....Maybe they think that they can finish signing for all the fanz within one hour?! NO!!! they need at least 3 hours okay??!? I was shocked when the DJ said that LeeHom has to leave to airport at around 9pm and no more fanz will be entertained for the signature. DO you know i was the 4th person stopped at the gate?! keanchee was the first, jien yeen was the second...if they opened for 5 more mins or one more min, all of us would get to see him near!! Here comes the HERO and the rudeness...keanchee get pass the gate and run across the way to the line for autographing. So many security guards trying to stop him but failed. He was warned by the guard before he go on stage but he got it!! Since he can make it, so did Jien yeen...Jien yeen was trying to squeeze herself out from the gate and yeah, she gets off and on her way to see LeeHom..

Now, im left behind..i can't squeeze or anything as i wasn't near the opening of the gates.im in the middle of the gate, equal distance from both left sided and right sided gate but i just cant leave the crowd. Finally, the guard decided to open one gate. On the moment i heard 'let 50 to come in', i know i must make it into the TOP 50!!! 'yang bin qian ri, yong bin yi shi' my body size definitely give me advantage now. take a big step, push the people abit, and yeah...i made it into the top 5 to enter!!! Its so fun to realized that i get nervous to see him...excited and i Smiled with no reason again!! SHIT!!!
HE is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo handsome!!!!! MY GOSH!!! soooooo handsome, so polite and he is just plain amazing!!!!!!:D:D can't get my eyes off from him even i get down from stage..!!!!! and he managed to sign for all by sacrificing his time to go back to hotel to rest before he goes to hotel. and when he walked towards his car, all 3 of us were actually chasing behind him (just like what you see in movie) till he gets into the car and leave. if KC parked his car nearby, i guess we might go after him for a short while...:p:p

Keychain with very meaningful story behind it...
temporary fan while waiting...

my tired look with his signature....lol...so sad the lyrics book is almost torn....its supposed belonged to Joshua...but after i got his signs, i don't feel like giving it to him...i wish its mine....so much efforts i put to get it....no one understand the feeling unless you been there...

still, it costs me RM50...haiz....i hope im earning money by now...so i won't have to bother about money sometimes...!!!

finally, i made a deal with Joshua...the cd belongs to him..but he has to give me the keychain...and i could only remember the day with the excitement and happiness left inside my heart now!! BUt,im not regret....:-)

I was listening to this songs nonstop on saturday...that's why i was so stupiak, smiling nonstop to myself...it makes me happy....^^

Fall for this song after watching the Love in Disguise on friday...hopefully i can be 'zi qi' of someone or my 'zi qi' will appear one day!!

oh....simply love this...ps...i was dancing in my room on firday night by playing this song...haha....

so does this song...

some people said leehom wrote this song for Amei....my name is MAY....can i assumed that he is singing for me for a moment or two??

hehehe....^_^

Ps: cn't wait for the holidays....counting down from 7!!

Life is as simple as this...work, rest, enjoy, work......haha....^_^

Hugz to all my friend...especially Sue, Kel, Meizhi...dunno why i keep on thinking about meizhi recently....I miss you all...!! you are always in my heart...

feels geli? wat tat??

i guess it should warm you...^^

the one before owl city

2010-08-19T21:16:00.002+08:00

There's a handwritten note pressed in the door of her screened in porch
And I am sailing away recalling that day miles from shore
She was still wearing white and robins egg blue, Her grandmother's dress
When I left home early this year, how I wound up here is anyone's guess
When the new sites grow old and I start to feel cold I'll sail home again

Goodbye Brielle
Only whispers can tell
Of the sweet dreams that we knew so well
I'll see you around our dear ocean town
The frozen days we set ablaze
Sent me drifting away
Like a butterfly, I floated by and now I'm alone
I wish I knew when I'll be back again
So until then I wish you well
My dear Brielle

strolling over the sand, cobblestone paths that wind through the trees
Breathing the sweet ocean air makes a shy boy aware that he could be free
When the new sites grow old and I start to feel cold I'll sail home again

Goodbye Brielle
Only whispers can tell
Of the sweet dreams that we knew so well
I'll see you around our dear ocean town
The frozen days we set ablaze
Sent me drifting away
Like a butterfly, I floated by and now I'm alone
I wish I knew when I'll be back again
So until then I wish you well
So until then I wish you well
For the time being farewell
My dear Brielle

Hujan

2010-08-04T15:12:00.009+08:00

it's raining now, and i'm stuck in the office.

today is the day where it rains the heaviest ever since i started my internship here.

turning to the back and facing the large window, observing the rain pouring..

with the gloomy sky as background, somehow it calms me, even with occasional thunders =)

oh well, don't you just love rainy days during the super hot weather in penang?

All u need to know about INDIA

2010-07-25T21:38:00.000+08:00

Life.Exam.Joy.Dream.

2010-07-20T15:48:00.005+08:00

People used to think that the life in Melaka will definitely better than in India. This is what I will call it as overestimate our own country living condition and standard.

For sure, at times, i will compare Melaka and India. I used to looking forward for the return to Malaysia as i thought that i can meet family and friends more frequently; a more familiar environment will not give troubles on adaptation. But, now i have to admit that its somehow not a very suitable place to study, firstly. Next, I expected too much from Melaka (or just take Malaysia).I want everything to be perfect but they never be as there is no perfection in this world.
Hence i don't get the maximum joyful whatever I do.

Every time i go back or go to KL, i need to PLAN.
Every time i plan to leave for short holiday, I hesitate.
Every time i want to make a promise, I hold back.
Every time i go back, I worry.Every time i came to Melaka, I feel tired on traveling.
Every time i feel very hungry, I eat outside my campus;
Every time i see the bill, i feel guilty and regret.

Nothing seems to be OKay...

Lets see what is in my mind for July that i want to share now..
A student's life is nothing but study, exam and play.

starting with study...the beginning 9 days of July is the last days of me in Orthopedics posting of 4th year. Simple end of posting exam but unexpected questions. I had been worrying about the consequences of not having enough exam for this posting since the beginning of it. Yes, i didn't type wrongly. I DO hope that there is an exam for me as a practice. Despite the stress, I could gain more experience when exam goes on. God knows what kind of answer i will give when my stress level increases!:)

It was a friend's birthday on 9th july.
(I don't have to mention the name le gua?!)
almost 30 of us went to celebrate for him and another 2 friends. Oh ya, One of them is my zi mui here--Carol aka Chyong Tze... Emm, many of them said that i looked different on that night. I don't know how different do i look to him but i hope that he will not feel awful and perasan lah. Seriously, that cloth belonged to my sister which she doesn't want anymore. Haha...didn't know that an old cloth could make such a difference , just because it's a dress!? lol....hopefully he will not think that i purposely go and dress up during his birthday?! sounds like I am 'fat hao'!! After the dinner, i was surrounded by a gang of girls in the hostel. Everyone was so free after the end posting. Sadly, no news and bat thing to share with them..||| Its too late to ask me:' what's happening between you and him??' or 'both of you ON already is it?" lol...SWEAT dao....:s:S:s
My conclusion of the day is: I am good in Cheating people, acting, whatever you say and in My college, in my batch, students are good in IMAGINATION!! and of course...SUPERB 'BAT'~!!!!

Last weekend is peace. Peace in mind.
Always feel comfortable and peace whenever my family is around me.
Yeah, my parents went to KL and visit my sister--she is moving to her new house!!:)
It was a tough decision for me to go there as i need to prepare for my surgery exam. Plus, i will go to Opthalmology posting starting on 12. I failed these 2 subjects during my last sem. SO, you can't blame me for being restless even before the posting starts. ITs difficult to handle these 2 tough subjects in one time. moreover,mama and papa promised to visit me on sunday too~

FAMILY OR EXAM?!

of course family...WISE decision..follows your heart shall never give you a wrong direction.:D
my parents don't have to travel so much and my sister don't have to drive here as well. AND we got 2 full days of hanging around!!! Yippy....the happiest thing is that i can't study on sat too as some drilling processes are on in my hostel!! WIN-WIN decision wei.....:D

we went for shopping at Ikea for my sister's new house. That day, i realized that my dad is a born shopaholic!!! lol...everything he sees, he wants to buy. everything i ask, he planned to buy for me..really EVERYTHING!! he was even interested to buy candle!! Carrying a big plastic bag...he looked exactly like a shopaholic we see in the movie.

The next day, after having breakfast with my future sister in law's family, we went to 1-U to shop for dress or evening gown for me to wear during my sister's wedding.
GUess what, MY papa chose the dress for ME!!! hahahaha....so lovely of him...and he kept on laughing on me!!!!!! Blek~!
well, he has a special taste on fashion..most of the dresses he picked are beautiful and gorgeous!! Maybe this is what he thinks about his youngest daughter?:p

After KL trip, is it time for exam?! oh come on...ITS WORLD CUP!!!!!
haha...woke up in the midnight to watch it till 5 plus and attended class since 8 to 5 is respectable!...ain't i?! and of ocurse....SPAIN WON!!!kakakaka...my prediction is so accurate...haha....my dad lost in all the bets with me!!:p

Back to the real life,exam!!
and you know what?! the exam is at the evening 4:30 to 6:30...after 6hours of lec from 8 to 4!! this is not yet the worst--SOme people has another exam for posting at 7am...
The exam is considered marks counted. Mid year exam. A grand one.
BUt, conducted in our lecture hall, meaning we were sitting next to each other just like how we sat in class. You can refer to your neighbours's answer anytime and discussion can be heard from the back. The guys in our gang who were sitting behind us were actually comparing our answers!!...this sounds like the exam when we were in PRIMARY school huh?!!!!

I guess, they forgot that i failed the paper last sem which they didn't.
still, they kept saying:' May and yee yong sure know how to answer one.."
GUYZ...there is one thing called STRESS in this world!? do you all ever realized that how much tension you were putting on me?! I was very upset when i saw the questions..none of it im confident with. With your words, I feel ashamed. Because you eyed on my paper, i feel uneasy as you saw my weaknesses..!!! T_T

I went for swimming after that, hoping that the water could calm myself. but the water was just too dirty...'i know i didn't do well...but i studied what i could, what i learned....WHAT ELSE should i do to improve???' helpless feeling raised.....

" you need distraction! so that you will not think and look back at your exam now!"

THus, i was in the cinema last night. Thanks to the senior.
INCEPTION...
Drems...
Thought....
Yeah....Perfect storyline for me and the movie has successfully deviate me from thinking about the exam. The idea is so right that it hits everyone weak point: we love to dream. IN dream, we are the world!!! and if that could happen in my life, i would have confused to choose to live in reality or in the dreams...

Following that, is another insomnia night...the total hours i slept for these 3 days equals to the hours i slept during weekend....WTH!!!

Hopefully....tonight....I will have a SWEET dream..............^^

O.T

2010-07-15T17:36:00.004+08:00

Working O.T doesn't mean that you're being hardworking,

it simply means that you're not being efficient.

(i'm FORCED to stay over time again..phekchek-ness..)

T_____T

M.L.I.A?

2010-07-14T17:31:00.009+08:00

Okay, it started off with a dead man lying on the road just a few feet away from my house in the early morning when i was about to drive to work, can actually spot the body from my house.. hmmm, i don't know what happened, but i guess my nosy neighbors will update my mum anyway.

Then one of the air con switch in the office spoilt, which means i worked under a rather warm condition. oh bummer. then in the evening which is now, the glaring sun is piercing through the window, mind you, it's CURTAIN-less window. >.<

i'm having slight headache now, not only because of the glaring sun, but also the business plan i'm currently working on. sudden change of topic which means we have to redo the things over again. and i'm pretty much stucked because there are not much evidence and information available on the net. besides, i've office work to do and my supervisor expects me to complete it by this week (but i dun really bother about it, so i take my own sweeeeet time) =P

gosh, if i continue to work under such condition, spending long hours sitting and staring at the computer, seriously i'm gonna look older than my actual age. not to mention gaining a few more pounds perhaps??! darn, I DON'T WANT I DON'T WANT!

p/s: a few of my colleagues gonna switch to USM's office, abandon me =( huhu..

random picture i came across while slacking..

24

2010-07-10T12:18:00.004+08:00

Just a short short update:

After started my placement, now only i truly wish that there is more than 24 hours a day.

especially for the moment i have to juggle between my workload (which is quite heavy for a new trainee) and also the preparation for the upcoming biotech business plan competition in KL, which will be held in less than 3 weeks time. i feel as if i don't really contribute much for the preparation that i kinda feel bad about it >.<

hmmm.. but looking at the bright side, i could learn a lot from all these challenges, if i'm able to overcome them, it indicates that i'm capable of doing more than i could ever imagine. so yea, 先苦后甜吧! =)

p/s: will Star Pisces nice? hehehe.. i shall see later this evening xD

a very rare chance to relax after such a hectic week, hope it'll be an enjoyable one! til then~

The Third Day

2010-07-07T10:44:00.003+08:00

today is only my third day here doing my placement, and i'm already slacking in my workplace.

using the glaring sun as excuse to move our laptop and desktop to the living hall (there are no curtain in the room la wei..damn cham)

online using my boss's desktop, facebook-ing and msn while i'm supposed to "work", talking and laughing with my only friend here..ohhh, shu xian, look what you've done >.<

and guess what's my sitting position,

sitting on the floor leaning backward to the sofa! typing using the keyboard that is placing on my lap haha..imagine how literally "laid back" i am right now hahaha~

hmmm, today supposed to be holiday (in pg), but we dont get the change to enjoy it =(

no wonder this morning the traffic was so smooth..

okok, that's all for now..

how random is this post xD

better get back to a little bit of serious work before i get caught or something. hehee...

Another Step

2010-07-04T01:52:00.010+08:00

just finished my 3 months classroom based training..

these 3 months passed way too fast, perhaps it was the sometimes hectic schedule, and of course with the presence of my special someone

❤

gonna start my 3-month placement from next monday onwards..

again, not really know what to expect, but hope it's something good to start with seeing the fact that i never really work before.

p/s: i'll miss you dearly, had the most amazing and occupied 3 months..

til we meet again!

=')

Full stop

2010-06-30T23:30:00.004+08:00

It has been haunted me for quite some time...and i haunted you guyz with this topic for a long time as well.. thanks for your companion and patience to listen to all sorts of junks regarding him recently..i know its boring, and i kept on talking about him uncontrollably during our conversation..please forgive me for that...wanted to apologize long time back but sometimes just don't feel that its necessary for me to say sorry...(Im not Kel...:p)

I was quite surprised about myself that i actually felt relieved...
thanks him for making himself clear about this rumour...
think about it, i may be a fool for those who knows the truth...but i can't make any changes on it..and i shall not regret about it. ...

???????
lotz of question marks on your head? blur about what am i talking???
lol....
ask me in person then...:p

Never feel so guilty for telling lies...
I was joking with my friend that i will perform on stage for cultural events held in my college. I thought he knows that im lying seeing that we always bluff with each other, talking nonsenses...who knows he took it seriously and spread to others. They did plan to come and support...and this makes me feel sooooo sorry and guilty about it..so i m thinking...maybe i should come out with something next year...:p
Should I?

Insulted

2010-06-27T15:49:00.006+08:00

for the first time of my 22 years life..

i never feel so insulted.. by your words

those words had hurt me deeply

and you are the one whom i've never ever thought your words could have piercing through my heart.

why?

why you want to look at things negatively and said such HARSH words?

why couldn't you look at things at my perception and rather than immersed in your own?

please, can we go back to those times where i could tell you anything i want without having to worry what your response is?

p/s: sorry that i'm not able to live up to your expectation, but i have my own life. and that's me.

holding back

2010-06-17T17:14:00.004+08:00

SOMETIMES, i have this tendency to hold back

(yes, i mean sometimes, not all the time)

things that i wanted to say..

sentences being arranged in my mind, prepared to blurt out, but at the very last moment. i kept them instead.

text that i wanted to send..

having the urge to text the person, typed them out..

at the very last minute, clear text without sending and that's it.

actions that i wanted to do..

should i do this? and that? hmm..

maybe better don't.

i tend to HESITATE.

sometimes i think i'm a rather impulsive kind of person but on the second thought, i'm not quite.

depending on situations

perhaps because i mind.

也许我很在意别人对我的看法

i mind and care how others think, about everything, include me.

now, i wonder is that a good point or a bad one? =/

For you.

2010-06-16T01:03:00.003+08:00

Someone said we didn't update the blog for very long already.

Someone made this song stucked in my mind for a long time.

p/s: please practise this song well!!! don't let me down =P

2010-06-09T17:05:00.007+08:00

爱要怎麽沟通
你和我才能相拥
我的心如果你都不懂
该如何继续让你宠

话不必那麽冲
泪早已暗自汹涌
两个人如果频率不同
说得再多也是言不由衷

曾经心只为你跳动
如今爱却留下伤痛

痛很深伤很重
我的疑问总是不断复诵

听不懂想不通
你的回答永远都在跳痛

别再说别再碰
过去种种已经变成反讽

我是云你是风
我们是不和谐的两个tone
唱不成一个梦

心已不跳动还在痛

For Chocolate lovers..

2010-06-02T17:19:00.001+08:00

chocolate could bring down cholesterol levels — but only in small amounts and only in some people, according to an analysis of eight studies.

Dr Rutai Hui of the Chinese Academy of Medical Sciences and Peking Union Medical College in Beijing and colleagues found chocolate only helped people who already had risk factors for heart disease and only when consumed in modest amounts.

Eating moderate amounts of cocoa could be “a worthwhile dietary approach” for preventing high cholesterol in certain groups of people, the researchers concluded in a report in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.

The analysis came after several studies suggested that chocolate may be good for your health.

One study released in March showed that among 19,300 people, those who ate the most chocolate had lower blood pressure and were less likely to suffer a stroke or heart attack over the next 10 years.

But, like the new analysis, that research came with caveats; the difference in chocolate consumption between the top and bottom chocolate-consuming groups was around 6g, or about one-seventh of a Hershey’s milk chocolate bar.

Hui and his colleagues searched the medical literature to find studies that looked at how cocoa affected blood fats, or lipids, and found eight trials including 215 people.

When all studies were analyzed together, the researchers found eating cocoa cut levels of LDL, or “bad” cholesterol, by about 6mg/dL and reduced total cholesterol by the same amount.

But cocoa had no effect on cholesterol in the three highest-quality studies.

Further analysis showed that only people who ate small amounts of cocoa, an amount containing 260mg of polyphenols or less, experienced cholesterol lowering effects. People who consumed more showed no effect. Polyphenols are antioxidant compounds found in fruits, vegetables, chocolate and red wine. A 1.25-ounce bar of milk chocolate contains about 300mg of polyphenols.

The researchers also found that healthy people didn’t get any cholesterol-lowering benefits from cocoa, but people with risk factors for heart disease, such as diabetes, saw their LDL cholesterol and total cholesterol drop by around 8mg/dL each.

“Future research efforts should concentrate on higher-quality and more rigorous randomized trials with longer follow-ups to resolve the uncertainty regarding the clinical effectiveness,” said Hui and his team.

“Then we can really eat chocolate without feeling guilty.” — Reuters

don't like this

2010-05-30T14:54:00.003+08:00

I dont like annoyance thingy!
But why do they like me?
Give me a break......

很烦啊！！

it's your turn.

2010-05-29T13:31:00.004+08:00

And it's your turn!

your turn to pursue your studies overseas...

first it was may, then me, now YOU =)

wishing you well,

and most importantly, have fun!

see you in a few months time ^^

p/s:

看起来朋友很多，知心的没几个，而最关心的就是你..

remember this song? ;)

Preservatives

2010-05-11T01:05:00.006+08:00

slow down,

stop,

take a thorough look...
you'll realize how much you've missed out all these while by not paying enough attention to the tiny minute things around you.

it's time to slow down

and enjoy =)

p/s: if only we have preservatives for positive emotions xD

Out of the blue.

2010-05-04T01:22:00.008+08:00

[wanted to post this last night, but due to sucky internet connection, so yea.. >.<]

out of the blue, i read back some previous posts in the blog.

and then it makes me realized that how emotional i could be at times, i'm not saying that i'm not as emotional as before (maybe i am, maybe i'm not?)

anyway, after putting into some thoughts, i think I've grown up in some way, which is good.

given the same shitty situation back then, i might get pissed/angry/disappointed/or whatsoever..

but for now, i would probably react in a different kind of way.

instead of blurting out words that i might regret of saying, i choose to stay silent.

instead of accusing others for disappoint me, i choose to look at my own self and reflect.

instead of finding faults at others, i prefer self evaluation.

people were not born to please us.

we are responsible for our own happiness, isn't it so? =S

things really happen for a reason, no matter it's bad or good.

in the end, you'll get something, at least something in return.

Be it a lesson, experience, a-slap-in-the-face that wakes you up, anything...

p/s: how i wish i have selective memory loss.

is late night now....

2010-04-28T01:37:00.001+08:00

ps: someone knocked on my door and complaint d...cannot sing in my room anymore...

Days without a thumb..

2010-04-25T21:24:00.004+08:00

Recently, my schedule on weekend is quite fixed!!
sleep till 11 am--> lunch--> go to library-->nap + study--> exercise!!
Among all of my friends, I am the one who is free at most of the time.
free to go out, free to do anything i like, free to exercise, free to sleep non stop, oh...free to daydreaming.....as usual..:-)
Yesterday, after lunch, i went to lib with elsa. 8 pages for 2 hours. How good was this progression?!?! hence, i decided to go for some sweaty activities. haiz...Who knows, both yee yong and elsa are not free to play squash with me and elsa suggested me to invite him to play squash since he was doing nothing in lib too.

.....won't that be very weird?!!?......
but its true that at that moment, he is the only one interested and free to have a game with me.

when i wanted to send the sms to him, elsa scolded me again....:' just walk to him and ask!! WHY ARE YOU SMSING?!?!!?!'.....lol...what if he rejects me?! then walk back just like that?!?!

be natural....just asking..it doesn't matter...

he said OKAY..

and when i turned from him and walk towards my seat, i smiled..uncontrollable!! i was planning to lie to elsa, but i know my expression and happiness had sold me out!!

haiz.....how could that happen?!?!?!!! arghhh.......

and ... this is the consequences of playing squash without the an 'insulator' on the holder!

oh laugh at me...
i also dunno why the wound is in this bloody shape!!!!

Situation

2010-04-19T00:01:00.014+08:00

If i were have to choose
i really don't want to be placed under such situation...

perhaps this is only some conflict i have with my inner-self

perhaps this feeling has nothing to do with anyone else.. is it?

i'm not sure..

对不起，

我就是那么矛盾

真的，

不是当事人

根本不能真正理解那种感觉...

p/s: hope EVERYTHING goes smoothly for YOU!

p/p/s:

你送的礼物原来是一场劫~~

anyone has this song?

i can't seem to able to download the full song >.<

I'm 家人 No More!

2010-04-14T00:43:00.009+08:00

If you haven't know already, today is the third day i started my internship (i'm just lazy to describe about the details here)

just wanna let you guys know that i'm so freaking drained, practically it's 9-5 everyday, excludes weekends...

fortunately.

this also means that i have stopped being a "家人", hah! you girls can't label me that anymore! kekez.. =P

truth is, i'm actually being paid to attend training classes for 3 months, how nice is that! xD

and it's a close four-digit pay! ^__________^

bet you hardly can find any internship that offers such lucrative incentive..

oh i'm so grateful about that! =)

another thing is that, spending the weekends with my special VIP makes me feel even more grateful as this chance was so hard to come by last time..

hence every moment spent together is so precious that sometimes i just wish that these 3 months can pass slower =P hehehe...

the bottom line is, at this very moment

i'm contented =)

p/s: i'm looking forward to meet you both as well (this week maybe?)!!! =D

Am i The girl?

2010-04-11T21:03:00.001+08:00

Accidentally read this just now...
I feel that this article is writing on me..
Im speechless....

有一种女孩子在陌生人面前会很安静，很冷漠，
在熟人面前却很放肆，很霸道，
并喜欢一咋一呼的说：“滚，滚蛋，坏蛋，笨蛋”。
不要认为她很粗鲁，她只是很单纯的认为，
大家打打闹闹，骂骂笑笑，表示更亲切，更不分你我。...

这一种女孩子偶尔看到街上的情侣时，
也会幻想，也会羡慕，
幻想着将来自己的恋爱
该是多么的帅气，多么的温柔，多么的甜蜜

这一种女孩子，
喜欢和自己的姐妹在一起打闹，大呼小叫。
即使没有男朋友，
在她的世界里，也有她的骄傲！

这种女孩子也会偶尔的忧郁，
朋友问她怎么了她也只会说没事
其实她只是感觉累了，
她只是需要一个拥抱。

这样的女孩子恋爱的时候
喜欢大事听男孩子的而在小事上调皮，耍赖。
不要认为她太小气，蛮不讲理，
其实在她调皮的习惯里已经为你收敛不少！

这样的女孩子不允许男孩子的背叛，
如果男孩子真的办了对不起她的事，
她一定会狠心的离开你。
不要怪她太绝情，
她其实很爱你，但是卑微的爱情她不要，
她果断的转身只是不想让你看见她滑落的泪水！

这样的女孩子失恋的时候会在别人面前装的很好，
大声的笑，放声的闹。
当姐妹心疼的说：“你没事吧？”
她会放下她所有的骄傲，趴到姐妹怀里哭。
哭完了，苦笑一声：没想到我还会为一个男的哭。

若她喜欢上你，请你不要在她的世界里消失。
她没有更多的要求，不会打扰你的生活。
她只是想静静的看着你，
当你的观众，仅此而已。

They are still my Favourite!!!:D

2010-04-09T15:45:00.000+08:00

2010-04-08T15:25:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time since my last presentation, i guess.

I feel so uneasy this afternoon, not because of the nervousness i used to have but because of the unpreparedness. Laziness was not a factor contributing to all this but a person.

The topic has been decided on Tuesday and i completed almost all on the night itself, until 2. yup..because its a main topic out of all. Who knows, Yesterday, other group members came to tell that the lecturer expect 2 peoples to handle my topic. Since i had already completed most of it, what she needs to do is just to add more details on it. i was expecting her to send the finalized slides to me before 12midnight. However, when i received her call 15 minutes to 12, she told me what she is going to add and she will do it in the next morning.

WHAT?!

That means, i got to present on spot?!

and do you know what time she started to prepare the slides?
10am! she skipped the morning lecture class half way to do the slides. and i only got the slides in the noon.

When the presentation was going on, i feel so uneasy. (bu shi zi wei)
Im not saying what i had done was excellent. But, the time and effort put on it shouldn't be ignored. Half of her slides are made by me; what she added for me is covered by the previous presenter.

Im not criticizing a friend as such. But, couldn't she be more sensitive that not everyone is able to present properly on spot or with limited preparation? If im a good presenter, will i waste my time to urge you to give me the slides as early as possible??

Though i stopped CheeKhang when he was saying that she is lazy as she hasn't prepare the slides by morning, i couldn't agree more with Chen Chuan when he said that she is 'bu shang xin'. If I know im going to be busy on Wednesday night, i would have done the slides by tuesday or even earlier.

Thanks to Sue as well as Yumigo.
Smile has put on my face again as im listening to the music while composing this post.... :-)

The road less travelled?

2010-04-08T02:10:00.011+08:00

It takes time

though i don't know how long

to figure out what i really want..

uncertainties cause uneasiness

should i go with the flow?

or should i take the road less travelled? =S

somehow i prefer to take things slow,

because if things tend to go too fast, i'll feel as if i'm losing control..

but what should i do if i'm not fast enough as others expect me to?

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yiruma...your music is always oh so calming... =)

Love Lockdown

2010-04-07T19:49:00.002+08:00

turn on your base and rock the room!!
Yeah~!!

found this accidentally in our col comp lab this morning while editing my presentation...fa xie a lot!!

Have i told you lately?

2010-04-02T01:21:00.003+08:00

Olivia oh Olivia..

how i love your angelic voice...

在晚上听你的歌特别有feel xD

Have I told you lately that I love you

Have I told you there's no one above you

Fill my heart with gladness

Take away my sadness

Ease my troubles, that's what you do

Oh the morning sun in all its glory

Greets the day with hope and comfort too

And you fill my life with laughter

You can make it better

Ease my troubles that's what you do

There's a love that's divine

And it's yours and it's mine

Like the sun at the end of the day

We should give thanks and pray to the One

Have I told you lately that I love you

Have I told you there's no one above you

Fill my heart with gladness

Take away my sadness

Ease my troubles, that's what you do

There's a love that's divine

And it's yours and it's mine

And it shines like the sun

At the end of the day we will give thanks

And pray to the One

Have I told you lately that I love you

Have I told you there's no one above you

Fill my heart with gladness

Take away my sadness

Ease my troubles, that's what you do

Take away my sadness

Fill my life with gladness

Ease my troubles that's what you do

The lost is not found.

2010-03-31T18:04:00.004+08:00

Anyone who is sensitive enough, able to tell that I am in a confusion.

My aims are no longer CLEAR nor SHARP.
I don't care how well i can do in my exam, all i want is just to pass the exam. And i do really mean so.. No extra effort was put to pass with a higher marks. Hence the outcome of being lazy is i failed 3 subjects out of 6. 2 of them was failed by 2 marks.
Yes, i failed half.
is it considered as a pass since i managed to pass 3 out of 6?!

Sometimes, i wish someone could have just slap me off and wake me up!

My determination has weakened.

I knew it. I knew IT!

but, Im doing nothing to strengthened it.

Im trying.
Hopefully i m able to find the lost determination and dedication?!

I don't want to be a loser.

thousands of excuses im able to give just to excuse me from being slacking.
but the excuses are going to make me a loser FOREVER!

the same dilemma goes for another problem--the 'HIM' and I!
the more i want to keep a distance from him, the more the chances for us to meet.
He is officially one of those im meeting the most in a day now.

I speak what i wish; but i don't act the way i should be.
Im calling him out whenever is possible, joining him for every outing.. yes, i wish to see him more.
but another May inside my mind is objecting!!
day after day, he never leave my mind!! heck...!!

The truth never lies, and it says, our lives are on different way. Im not able to walk into his life.

So, am i able to regain the courage and enthusiasm in doing everything to reach the set target?!?

i don't know...simply don't know....
but i know...
i HAVE TO...

im listening to ku guo jiu hao le by liang wen yin...
how i wish everything can be solved after crying?!?!!!

Don't stop believing!

2010-03-28T12:28:00.002+08:00

i will move on..move on!!!^_^

the only thing

2010-03-27T01:32:00.017+08:00

Playing the organ always soothe me, especially when i'm tense or upset.

and tonight, playing you at this very odd hours,

you cheered me up again.

the only thing in the world that will never let me down (unless you break down yourself! >.<)

huuhaaaa, feeling so much better now, i guess.

and it's time to get some beauty sleep...

It’s sad when you have all these

amazing, stupid, horrible or depressing thoughts,

but no one to tell them to.

New Record

2010-03-22T22:57:00.002+08:00

Should i call this a new record or new achievement?!

on my first day of 4th year, i was told that i failed 2 subjects in the morning itself.

I failed surgery with 2 marks to 50; sad case, but it was tough and i didn't finish reading. So, blame myself for not studying hard!

The worse is Ophthalmology.

I failed with 30 something ONLY!
great, isn't it?! the ever first time in my life to get such marks!?
But the funny part in failing it is that only around 10 in my class passed it.
...out of 132 students. Meaning, less than 10% of students passed!

Still, the lecturers think that the reason why we failed is from ourselves.

Hope that this is going to be the worst ever, no more results come worse than this. PLEASE!

4th year schedule is not a joke! A total lifeless time will come to me soon!
BUt, before that, i will have 8 weeks of a comparatively relaxing posting first. ^_^

and, don't always ask me when will be my holidays. This makes me down.
My entire 4th year will have only one week of holiday !!!!
DAMN! 2 weeks is too little for us and they are trying to shorten it to 1?!

Next shocking news for me today will be the reconstruction of the groups;
one of my good friend yee yong is leaving me to another group--sad and i will be helpless again.
no one is going to remind me and teach me this and that.
wei han is going with YY too-- less jokes will be surrounding me!!

guess who is joining me in the New group?! ;)

ps: i saw a very nice lemon yellow nike sport shoes just now!!!!!

it's not pink.

2010-03-12T02:18:00.014+08:00

hopefully this camera won't follow my previous cameras' footsteps! where they ALL ended in some horrible kind of way.. =/

and i guess this cam will do me good on my coming big day, eventhough i don't have a DSRL like Gweela's geng geng EOS 50D! no money to buy la that one...damn expensive wei~

note to self: fast fast finish your essay lazy bum! time's running out >.<

i wanna get this internship ler...cuz i don't want to be "jia ren" already! sick of being one..

one more week to go! :D

counting down counting down...

by the way, this song is sooooo freaking addictive! sick beat!

Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I'm feelin so fly like a G6

p/s: fyi, my favourite colour isn't PINK (eventhough my cam and laptop are pink =S i'm not as girlish as it seems!), again, my fav colour is not PINK!

365 days ago.

2010-03-02T01:24:00.010+08:00

exactly one year ago, i started my third year in UoA.

seeing some of my friends going back to adelaide, begin to attend lectures and stuff, makes me feel really nostalgic. i was part of all these last year.

even though sometimes the culture, the people and the environment all seemed to be so surreal, however, they grew on me as time went by.

but now here i am, once again i'm being placed in a position where i've to decide what to do next.

standing at the crossroad is so not fun, to make it worse, people around keep giving me pressure by repeatedly asking what's my plan, have i done this or that, or i should do this and that...

i know you mean well, but please.. gimme a break leh @.@

spotted this on my study table in one of the uni's study room last time, while i was stressed reading journals and jotting down notes.

it totally made my day back then, thanks to whoever scribbled it :D

- don't worry, it's just a phase you're going through -

thank you for not letting go when i said let me go.. ♪

- I'm Done by Pussycat Dolls

love this song, mostly because of this particular line...

p/s: countdown-ing, 18 days! xD

苏州河

2010-02-28T02:18:00.004+08:00

我只是渔火　你是泡沫
运河上的起落惹起了烟波
我只能漂泊　你只能破
念一首枫桥夜泊我再不是我
一刹那的寄托有甚麽结果
帘外骤雨哀悼我们脆弱

爱只是爱伟大的爱情到头来也只是爱
碧空尽的深处谁也不曾存在追怀追怀
还逃不过要置身事外
偶遇而来互相依赖
河上的船儿总不能永不离开
蜿蜒的泡影到底离不开人山与人海
无奈浪淘一浪又一浪也不过只为一次澎湃

河流上的泼墨模糊了轮廓
你不属我我有甚麽把握

爱只是爱伟大的爱情到头来也只是爱
碧空尽的深处谁也不曾存在追怀追怀
还逃不过要置身事外
偶遇而来互相依赖
河上的船儿总不能永不离开
蜿蜒的泡影到底离不开人山与人海
无奈浪淘一浪又一浪也不过只为一次澎湃

寒山寺建於云外依然为世人爱情无奈
凡人沉默的参拜感情的事只许等待
去的去不明也不白

爱只是爱伟大的爱情到头来也只是爱
碧空尽的深处谁也不曾存在追怀追怀
还逃不过要置身事外
偶遇而来互相依赖
河上的船儿总不能永不离开
蜿蜒的泡影到底离不开人山与人海
无奈浪淘一浪又一浪也不过只为一次澎湃

那海市蜃楼只是爱

a nice song introduced by kel during our throw mic session =D

there's another version in cantonese called 慕容雪.

just a thought.

2010-02-26T01:06:00.045+08:00

tried so hard not to make a scene.

but it's soooooo freaking frustrating when that person doesn't even have a clue about what's wrong/what's going on.

yet it happens again, again, again, again and again...

like a cycle, repeating itself..

being considerate/understanding is not helping sometimes,

and being forgiving doesn't mean that i'm being ignorant.

in fact, it's like indirectly giving people a pass and allow them to take you for granted.

maybe some people just don't know how to appreciate,

perhaps they know you'll always be there and attend to them whenever they want you to..

Senyum.. =)

2010-02-20T23:44:00.012+08:00

Seems like i've nothing better to post lately (could it be i'm being simply lazy to post anything? >.<)

heard this song so many times on the highway the other day...and since then it just got stucked on my mind!

btw, really sweet lyrics! ♥

You´re better then the best

I´m lucky just to linger in your life

Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right

Completely unaware

Nothing can compare to where you send me

Lets me know that it´s ok yeah it´s ok

And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed sing like a bird

Dizzy in my head spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh you make me smile

Even when you´re gone

Somehow you come along

Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack

and just like that

You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed sing like bird

Dizzy in my head spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh you make me smile

Don´t know how I lived without you

Cuz everytime that I get around you

I see the best of me inside your eyes

You make me smile

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun

Fall out of bed sing like bird

Dizzy in my head spin like a record

Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool

Forget how to breathe

Shine like gold buzz like a bee

Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Ohh you make me smile

Ohh you make me smile =)

p/s: i wasn't the one driving, why am i so freaking sleepy? @.@

think i'm gonna break records by sleeping before 1am today!

p/p/s: friends leaving to adelaide one by one again..it reminds me of last year's February.

things certainly have changed. =/

however, one thing remains...

our at least 10-year-old friendship =D

蓝天

2010-02-10T18:00:00.003+08:00

dedicating this to you sue...it suits you the most now!!:)

忽醒忽睡
我又挣扎了一夜

窗外透进
几丝光线

空荡的房间
留著你的照片
幸福的感觉
索然无味

无心唱歌
却又拨断琴弦
所有的事
留给明天

感情的善变
挖空心思遮掩
谁能用真心
说抱歉

我陷在爱里面
渐渐疲惫的脸
仿佛是退不出
又走不进你的世界

我陷在爱里面
是谁停住时间
越过了重重的心墙
有一整片蓝天

无心唱歌
却又拨断琴弦
所有的事
留给明天
感情的善变
挖空心思遮掩
谁能用真心
说抱歉

就陷在爱里面
一张无辜的脸
仿佛是退不出
又走不进你的世界

我陷在爱里面
谁停住了时间
越过了重重的心墙
有一整片蓝天

越过了重重的心墙

有一整片蓝天

hugz hugz~~~

Porcupine

2010-02-10T00:09:00.006+08:00

最后一抹的微笑

在转身之后

我闭上眼哭了

仅存的一点点骄傲

华丽的外表终于丢掉

很彷徨很孤单是寂寞或悲惨

一个人该怎么办

像是刺猬般防范

伪装的勇敢

不轻易让你看穿

我以为可以很坦然

面对分开时不觉得伤感

然而将灯关上一片无声黑暗

心痛的大声呼喊

我想我没那么坚强每个女孩其实一样

渴望着爱情的好渴望被拥抱

却都害怕爱让人受伤

承认我没那么坚强

不过是一而再的逞强

小心将情绪收藏比傻瓜还傻

刺猬的坚强全都是假象哭吧

像是刺猬般防范

伪装的勇敢

不轻易让你看穿

我以为可以很坦然

面对分开时不觉得伤感

然而将灯关上一片无

声黑暗心痛的大声呼喊

我想我没那么坚强每个女孩其实一样

渴望着爱情的好渴望被拥抱

却都害怕爱让人受伤

承认我没那么坚强

不过是一而再的逞强

小心将情绪收藏比傻瓜还傻

刺猬的坚强全都是假象

我想我没那么坚强每个女孩其实一样

渴望着爱情的好渴望被拥抱

却都害怕爱让人受伤

承认我没那么坚强

不过是一而再的逞强

小心将情绪收藏比傻瓜还傻

刺猬的坚强全都是假象哭吧

throw mic session! yesh yesh! bloggerettes reunited.

this week gonna be a pretty occupied one..starts from today xD

happy CNY and Valentine's day in advance (just in case i don't update the blog later this week)

have a great one peeps! :D

到底有，还是没有？

2010-02-06T19:21:00.015+08:00

不知道你们有没有尝试过这种感觉...

你以为你拥有某样东西

可是它不常出现

又很少有它的消息

搞到好像不是你的

不禁令你怀疑，到底是怎么一回事？

当你累了

不去追究它是不是你的时候

它，好像又回来了...

那是一种若有似无的感觉

好像有，又好像没有..

好像魔术似的

now you see it,

now you don't.

and you think you have it,

but you don't

and vice versa.

到底我拥有过吗？

好像有，现在又好像没有

唉，很矛盾

不知要做什么pun..

惜福!^^

2010-02-06T13:16:00.006+08:00

暖风吹飘送着
一种花香芬芳的味道
告诉你这一年
一切都会变得更美好

暖风吹飘送着
一种真心相惜的味道
告诉你新一年
风雨过后就是晴朗天

昨天今天明天依然没有变
只是见面时间少一些
祝福你每一年都是丰收年大步大步走向前

手牵着手一辈子要惜福
珍惜你身边的人和物
他爱笑你爱哭
有甜有苦才会有满足

手牵着手一辈子要惜福
生活有你才不会无助

老朋友老样子
祈望每年相聚都能看到你幸福

ps：期待着我们相聚！！
真的好久没在一起了……
多希望时光能倒回，让我们多在一起经历值得一生回味的时刻！！
希望你们永远幸福<--是我最真心的祝福!!

I am counting down the date for CNY, and the day when we enter ROOM　FOR THREE~~!!!:D:D:D

argh....go away exam!! holidays , pls come to me!!!!^^

HAVE to or WANT to?

2010-02-02T23:55:00.013+08:00

Do you know that...

most of the time, a particular act itself loses its meaning when you do it only after i told you so, or might have hinted you.

also if you do it just because you feel like you HAVE to, not because you WANT to.

it doesn't feel right at times..

i'm not that oblivious, i can feel it.

and on the plus side of being a female, our instinct is unusually accurate more than half of the time >.<

p/s: 永远几远.

another nice song which i'm currently hooked on!!

make me wanna touch my piano again.. =)

p/p/s: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Linda!! where ever you are,

just wanna let you know that we're MISSING you dearly!!

how i miss those sleepovers at BF, BBQ at the apartment, steamboat session where you guys forced me to finish off the leftover sausages, sun zhong san moment, late night jap dramas (long vacation!), open the wine bottle with knife LOL and many more!

我期待的..

2010-01-28T22:46:00.013+08:00

不知不觉，我回来槟城都有一个月了

说快不快，说慢不慢，因为在这一个月里还发生了蛮多事情的（目前最好和最坏的都在同一个月发生）

let bygones be bygones then... =/

有时，我会想：如果我没有那么快毕业就好lo..

看着很多朋友还在大学里努力着，赶着没完没了的assignments and test

好怀念~

话说回来

我是时候需要积极了，不可再消极下去

一定要尽快搞好masters的事 >.<

可是我现在好期待，好期待农历新年的来临和我的毕业典礼

and of course, 我们下一次见面啦! xD

加油加油!

hoho...noseless! =P

p/s: listen to this ba..i love it!

我就是这样！！

2010-01-27T21:40:00.002+08:00

我就是这样天马行空的磁场
或许你还不习惯我在等你变成拍档
我就是这样注定和你不一样
谢谢你欣不欣赏我的风格是限量

摊开的手掌柔软又刚强
(十指纤长指尖藏着一鼓力量)
安静的目光温柔却也狂放
(眼神明亮有好多话想对你讲)
我独特的模样是全新的信仰

我就是这样天马行空的磁场
或许你还不习惯我在等你变成拍档
我就是这样注定和你不一样
谢谢你欣不欣赏我的风格是限量

你不会躲在不长不短的裙摆
耍无赖太依赖都不符合你的心态
乖乖早过了时代怪怪才有人青睐
不需要表态让大家慢慢猜

既古代又现代爱hip hop也爱李白
是女孩像男孩这次出场注定精彩
我嗅到英雄神采我瞄到美人姿态
多变的节拍接下来该是你踛

诗人的滥觞刻板的印象
(没有文字足以介绍你的出场)
你爱晒太阳我赏我的月亮
(井水河水各自徜徉各的海洋)
想发出一道光让世间不平凡

温柔倔强勇敢都是我
我拥有太多不同基因
安静吵闹沉默都是我
分钟不同的颜色

我就是这样天马行空的磁场
或许你还不习惯我在等你变成拍档
我就是这样注定和你不一样

谢谢你欣不欣赏我的风格是限量

something haunting me these few days.
I don't have to tell in details here as you girls knew it already.
i guess, something went wrong in my mind yesterday or the day before which makes me made a very wrong decision.　

i hessitated to post in my OWN blog! and,
i had deleted some of the post in my OWN　blog because i realized that someone i know, have been reading our blog for a long time, for at least 6 months!!

well, after reading for such a long time, he got what he want; he got a so- called secret of mine.

i don't like to call it as 'SECRET'! as its so untrue!!
i never hide it, its just that no one dares to tell.
and for sure, i WILL NEVER go and tell him myself. (unless im on my way to be a psychiartry patient!!)

Its true that i was shocked when i saw he posted something in facebook because as he is posting, the secret will be in public. instead of shock, why don't i say im beh syok?! i don't mind you read it without my permission, but must you spread the news around??

some said, why don't i take this opportunity to know what will be 'his' response?
Yeah, it sounds good, but i don't think the response will come out as what i wish.

In short, i don't want to face the fact. and in the real life, i do run away from him.
I didn't msg him out for lunch or dinner for the weekends as i don't want to be rejected; i tried not to speak to him in the class as i don't want to have a polite but strange conversation with him!.... till today, when i realized that he didn't see any post in facebook or realized about this so called secret.

relieved..so i can think wisely and properly now!

Nothing had happened.
Nothing has changed.
some people started to suspect, but what can they do?

but i changed.
and I regret!

THIS IS MY WORLD!!
i shouldn't give a way to anyone..i shouldn't delete my post just because it's seen and could be an evidence to proof something?!

Yeah..i want to be myself! i want to be how i used to be!

i will not stop posting everything here which i usually do;
this blog will remain public as sue wish!
everythin will go back to its own position!
my stand is very strong now and i will not change my mind anymore!

i don't care how much you or others know,so what if you tell the whole world!??!???
i ain't anything wrong, am i?!

Here, Im the KING!!!

others...连根葱都不是!!!!!

wish vs hope

2010-01-26T22:01:00.001+08:00

I wish.....

but,

I hope.......

Is a wish same as a hope??

他妈的！！！！！

2010-01-21T17:14:00.002+08:00

i said this for the 4th time for today...
punish me!!

i didn't want to say rude words~ you guys know, i don't use rude words!

but im really verry very very very cannot tahan!!!!!!!!

oh my god!!

never seen such disorganized department one!!
4 lecturers are teaching and you have to learn 4 formats for one topic!
if one of the lecturers ask you to read 2 books, imagine how many books we are EXPECTED　for one night?! i can't sleep for 2-3 hours per day only from now onwards can i?! NO! its unhealthy! and i guarantee nothing will be registered into my mind!!!

do some calculations: one night study 4 main topics, one topic is expected to read from more than one book, one book is probably at least 5 pages for each topic! at least 40 pages in one night...guys...im saying it..AT LEAST! my class finished at 6. even i don't take a nap, i eat bread as dinner, i don't online and i start studying by 6:30pm. how long do you think i can study? ok..lets say i study till 2pm. do you think i can read, understand, memorize, recall ALL?!!　and complete all the assignments in time!?
impossible man!!!!

say our answers are nonsenses?!
please lah..your ideas are rediculous!!!!!

if i use the time to think and understand, i don't have time to memorize; then the lec will say why u don't study?! WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST NIGHT?! make love with someone, should i answer that?!
if i memorize without udnerstanding, and don't know how to apply; then the lec will scold you! 'you must understand what are you reading! you can't simply memorize everything!!' wah...DAMN You!!!!!!!!!!!

you thought im taking course to take part in MEMORIZING COMPETITION is it?!!!

im fed up!!!!!
他妈的！

im very gehk qi ar!!!!

i cannot study what i want, i cannot plan for myself, i have to follow words by words, step by step...
Is the social expecting a mature man behave like this?!!

if its true, We are in a hopeless country!!!

2010-01-16T20:39:00.007+08:00

没有人能预料，
天，几时会塌下来；
地，何时会龟裂。

没有人能预料，
这一刻，是你人生的开始；
抑或是，你生命的句点。

在同一片天空下，
有人一夜致富，
有人骤然为贫。

在同一个大地上，
有人起死回生，
有人与你永诀！

人，
不管是天才或白痴，
都无法预知未来，
都无法改写阎王手中的生死簿。

人，
就算你机关算尽，
也不见得会活得比毫无心机的人来的久。

只要开心，
只要安康，
只要心安理得，
这，
不已经是最令人称羡的生活了嘛？

one of my batch mate had passed away this morning.
A shocking news to all of us. rest in peace Ganesha!
http://bharian.com.my/Current_News/BH/Sunday/Nasional/20100116233736/Article/index_html

If, one day, i left accidentally, i hope i could at least leave a last words to my loves one.
I,
want all my friends --especially shu xian, yi ying, carolyn, meizhi,justin, karen, xinyin, see min,jian fa, jian hao,yin ye, yee yong, waicheng, elsa, chee khang, chen chuan,kean chee, jien yeen, f4,swee en, soon yiu, shi san, kaixin , jeremy, jia shen, qianyi, kok, kok eon,loo hoang,ji yun, shir ling.... ..............
to live better than ever.
I want all my family members to stay happy and healthy.
remember my laughing, my noisy voices, my lousy jokes, my scolding, my style, my belief; gets motivated as i will always be with you all!:)
and ya, last but not least, currently, i hope HE will know that the girl who has gone used to like him..used to hope that he can treat her better..

hugz hugz..^^

我不需要别人天崩地裂的哭泣，
也不需要别人天天哀悼我。
我只希望，活着的人会继续珍惜我，
会在偶尔想起我时，会心地一笑！^^

May 16-01-2010:)

我是一块木

2010-01-16T18:23:00.003+08:00

有人说过，我像一块木

没有表情的

是典型魔蝎座女生...

是吗？

没表情吗？

我只能说

因人而异

其实，

要走进我内心世界不容易

我没有向人倾诉，讲心事的习惯

假如我曾经和你倾诉过

证明我非常信任你

你们俩就是最好的例子

可以毫无避忌的跟你们诉苦，讲心事

几乎什么都可以讲

因为我知道你们不会戴有色眼镜看我

给我有建设性，鼓励的话

就算静静的，有耐心的听我说

那也就足够了...

给犯贱的她

2010-01-14T23:03:00.032+08:00

..能够伤害她

是因为这一向来

她把你看得太重

对你的事太在乎

你的一举一动

可以很轻易就影响她的思绪

短的来说

是她自己犯贱

是吗？

p/s: 表面看来没什么，

是因为很多事都抱着得过且过的心态

事实，又知道多少？

不要吻我只要抱着我
不要爱我做我的亲人
把手借我一天一分钟
做我最亲密的亲人
不是谁的情人谁的某某某

got to know this song through a friend today, and i dedicate this song back to him as it suits him perfectly at the moment...

X

2010-01-13T15:46:00.001+08:00

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

2010-01-11T01:33:00.019+08:00

Maybe i shouldn't be too judgmental about you.

but you're being very hypocritical

讲一套，做一套

practically everything you do is oh-so-deceiving!

名副其实的Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde..

sugar-coated words

pretend to be all nice, innocent and polite

wow, aren't you the nicest person around here?

yea my ass!!

huuuuuuuhaaaaaaa..

okay, enough of my out of the blue's rant.

i blame PMS! >.<

p/s: by the way, go "avatarize" yourself!

click here! it's fun xD

it's chemicalized.

2010-01-09T02:45:00.015+08:00

my hair has been chemicalized.

it's my first (probably my last too!) time tried hair rebonding.

if you know me well enough, then you should know i don't like to spend much on my hair...why would i make an exceptional this time then?

reason 1: it's for CNY

reason 2, which is also the main reason: it's for my graduation ceremony in march which will be held in singapore (HOPEFULLY it can tahan until then la..) but i'm so hoping that i could go back to adelaide for graduation actually! haihz, if only...... T___T

the reason that i did it so early is because i'm scared that they will increase the price as CNY approaching, and also ever since i came back from adelaide, my hair has been really really unmanageable, even the hair straightener won't help! damn the humidity!

要美，真的需要付出代价的! damn.

and the 代价 is hours and hours of sitting there...doing nothing...and let the hairdresser does whatever it requires to be done. nearly bored to death man!! i remember i fell asleep nearing the end of the process..and the alarm woke me up! ish...was so tired once i reached home... >.<

anyway, hope this new hairdo can tahan as long as possible la..if not there goes my $$..

can anyone tell me how to sleep with newly rebonded hair? i find it really hard to sleep without worrying that i'll destroy the shape...arhh! why so mafan?!

not gonna do this anymore..

dear hair, i've been exposing you to different chemicals (which is really really bad), i wont torture you anymore eventhough you might look like a lump of dried out grass.

p/s: no hair washing for 3 days...are you kidding me?! o.O

p/p/s: i noticed A LOT of girls go for curly hairstyle this year...hmm...i see a trend coming up soon xD

After one and a half year....

2010-01-09T00:46:00.005+08:00

we are back to the land we belonged to!
both of us are BACK!
:D

si si wen wen....
who is fairer?
let's adjust the photo so that kel can fit into the photo as well!
^^

get tired to see Pretty ladies and proper photos?!
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
ready for as-usual extraordinary pose?!
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......

2 pigs...transformed from DRAGON!
we are little kids...naif...idiotic look...
back to the earth....
I MISS YOU!!

copy right @ maykelsue.blogspot.com!

When i see you smile....

2010-01-08T11:21:00.004+08:00

^_^

Sometimes I wonder
How I'd ever make it through,
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn't have a clue

'Cause sometimes it seems
Like this world's closing in on me,
And there's no way of breaking free
And then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you, baby
And everything's alright,
everything's alright

When I see you smile
I can face the world, oh oh,
you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light, oh oh,
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there's nothing in this world
that could ever do
What a touch of your hand can do
It's like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling
I don't feel it,
'cause you're here with me now
And one look at you baby
Is all I'll ever need,
you're all I'll ever need

Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby
And everything's alright,
everything's alright

So right... =)

ps: sue..you should go and see my friend's triangular shape of mouth while smiling...:p

A 'daytime'-mare~

2010-01-05T20:22:00.003+08:00

huu....i survived for my monday morning posting and evening lectures and doing presentation's slides at night yesterday..after a night trip from penang to melaka! think i will try this more often since i was able to reach melaka by 6.30am!!

today wasn't a tiring day. yet i slept for 2 and a half hours after class.
i wished i didn't sleep that much if the bad dreams come later in my sleep!

it was a scary, dangerous yet funny dream.

here it goes..

I was in Penang. My aunty from Brunei came back to visit us and plan to have a dinner gathering. As my big aunt scolded my sister, we didn't fetch them but meet them in the restaurant itself. I wasn't driving my red wira, but my dad left his van for me. The van goes by itself without anyone controlling once the engine is started until the point where we meet traffic lights. Then, to make it move, we have to drive ourselves. Therefore, i have to drive the van to the restaurant without lisence! Nothing happened and we reached the restaurant safely.

after dinner, before we left, i met Joshua and Jack Tee. (well..i have totally NO IDEA how they would enter my dream, 日有所思，夜有所梦ｉｓ untrue for their case..i never thought about them pun!!!). their car has some problem..so i have to fetch them to their destination. However, i don't know why i fetch them to my house. Next, i was blocked by the police after i turned in to Jalan Besi. I was very steady and created a fantastic story to the police. The police was unable to charge me or what but have to let me go! whooray...also, from the moment onwards, Jack was chatting with me happily in the car. (he seldom talks to GIRLS!) then, they disappeared after we reached my house...Vanished....:p

the scene continued to my kitchen. Mum was cooking something delicious and my favourite to me. she was very concentrating on the dish, worrying that she cannot cook it perfectly! I was asked to go the minimarket to buy something. when i stepped out from the lift, i saw lightennig shines onto the ground. and then, it lights up the road and plantation and everything is in fire! more and more lightning shoots around my apartment and i could see my dad from far. he was asking me to save mummy..i called her, but she doesn't belief it and refused to come out to see the lightning as she wants to cook probably for me!

i ended up ran back to my house to drag my mum for lives. Women's tragedy..we were trying to pack some valueables..and so we couldn't escape! we were in fear of dying..and i regret for not knowing an answer..many thoughts came into my mind..and i realized that i miss the world. I haven't done many things! There are a lot of adventure and new experiences that i haven't explored because of idiotic theory i had in my mind.....I want to go on....

we died??

nope...

my dad came to save his wife and his daughter~!^^

~the end~

what is the moral of the dream...??

ps: why Joshua and Jack Tee will enter my dream!?!??!??????WHY???

FIRST!!

2010-01-01T13:46:00.003+08:00

if there is a year end post, so is this year...emm..beginning post?!

Im so glad that i can celebrate the very first day of the year in PENANG!!! after so many years~! yeah~~!!
Miracles..!!
i don't feel down anymore after i saw my parents and lied down on my bed..
i felt extremely comfortable and happy and safe!!
HOME, this is what we called?!
again, im lazy to leave the house already...haha...this is where i belonged to~~!!!!

Happy NEW YEAR~!!
to everyone...alright..to the stalker as well....but damn you~:)

ps: i m still waiting for 2 phone calls....! $^$#$!@##%^ faster call me ....fast....i cant wait le!!!!!!^^

2010. xD

2010-01-01T03:00:00.008+08:00

First post of the year.

Happy new year to whoever reading this =D

unusually, i've lost the usual vibe to celebrate new year this time. didn't feel like going for countdown at malls anymore, don't know why.. maybe it's the sign that i'm getting older >.<

1st of january.

my 4th day in penang since i came back from adelaide.

so far i havent start missing adelaide YET, cuz i'm enjoying myself in penang! with foodssss and entertainment everywhere...how am i going to miss adelaide so soon? :p

been eating hawker food since i touched down penang, even the first evening itself. after dropped my freaking heavy luggage at home, straightaway i headed to the nearest hawker centre already xD cannot tahan la...

somehow hearing people speaking in hokkien makes me feel all warm inside =)

it's the feeling of HOME

my sister said if i continue like that, she'll get fat really fast! hahaha...because i dragged her to eat hawker food with me almost everyday xD summore one day eat a few times, each time a few types of hawker food. but compared to adelaide, the potion here really really small lo, no wonder last time i ate until how also cannot gain weight, but when i was in adelaide, within 2 months already gained...erm..a few kgs >.<

anyway, i'm still adapting to the weather here...i seriously cannot stand the humidity! the first and second day in penang i was feeling like a walking adhesive glue, whole body 粘粘的...haihz...til now i still need to switch on the air con whenever i'm in the room..really cannot tahan!

good news is, i didn't suffer from jet lag AT ALL.

and once again,

HAPPY 2010 everyone!

after 10 months plus, i set foot in gurney once again =D

(oopss, the christmas tree ter-cut by some amateur photographer!)

p/s: currently i'm so hooked on 3 songs: Warp 1.9 by The Bloody Beetroots (this song alone is more than enough to annoy my sis hahaha! 1, 2 woop woop!!), Tick Tock by Kesha, and Down by Jay Sean!!

Year end post~

2009-12-31T16:39:00.003+08:00

Its going to the end for 2009; yet im not ready for 2010!!
i should be more responsible and more hardworking and more mature from 2010 onwards! hopefully i can make it! I will try for sure..but maybe india's life was too bored and i just can't stop or control myself to have fun in Malaysia!! Melacca is a sienzz place if compared to KL　or penang~

I will be leaving to penang tonight at 10pm.
Yeah..i will be spending my time in the bus and wish those san hmm sek cak punya orang happy new year in the bus later. How many people will stay awake at that moment later?
No idea..simply no idea..!

obviously, im 'emo' again. I was very excited and happy to go back until 1 hour ago.
i wish she never remind me or said those things to me just now!
if you never said that i treat you nice,i wouldn't be so sad now....
if you never said you want to go out, i wouldn't plan, i wouldn't expect anything tonight and i will not be so down now!
Perhaps im too greedy...perhaps, im always surrounded by friends..perhaps, i always wish that people will at least treat me the same as how i treat them.. perhaps, i had overestimated myself--im still not get used to be left behind by others!!
haiz... i know i shouldn't be selfish, but do you know that i feel like crying when i sms you saying its fine,some more have to be in a 'happy' tone??

its not easy to be generous, its not easy be a polite lady, its not easy tolerate everybody especially the closed one, its not easy to manage relationship with others!! really...is the toughest things i ever met!

How i wish i can go back to the time when i can voice out everyhting to everyone?! either to my best friend or just a passed by one???
why is it so difficult to keep everything to myself now??
why must everyone be so polite to others?!
why am i looked so strong?!
for a same situation, no one will ever bother me..no one will ever think that i can't overcome or solve it!!! When is these all insane things started?!
HECK!!!!!

when i tend to be mysterious, someone taught me to SHARE~
when i learn to share, people said i never stopped talking!
when i stop talking, someone said im angry~
SO?!

心碎了无痕……一点儿也没错…………
掩饰得越好，越少人发现你的存在…………
迟在，不会有人知道，不会有人在意，你在想什么，做什么…………

Flashback *updated

2009-12-29T00:30:00.005+08:00

Seeing that i'll be leaving adelaide very soon, ~~i think i'll just post a few entries (or i might combine all at one, haha, laziness =P)~~ this post is to summarize briefly about my life in australia. it's ~~probably~~ my last post from adelaide...and ~~hopefully i can finish it on time~~ i've finished it!

the who, what, when

too many stuff to add, hence they'll not be in chronological order =P

she was one of my few closest friends in adelaide.

we took biochemistry for both semester and she was my lab partner.

my partner in crime, camwhore buddy and clubbing kaki.

also my only female pool opponent and my motivation during exam period.

and probably the only one who appreciates my typical asian eyes =.=

how i wish i'm as ambitious and determined as you >.<

anyway. hope to see you in penang when you're coming here in jan (hopefully! cuz you said you would come to visit me! bluek!)

a few of events/outings that we attended together: MLS pubcrawl, international student farewell, biochem dinner, red square, royal adelaide show, uni of adelaide, HQ and my place (cooking together) xD i wont forget how we rushed to finish our poster for presentation just a day before too =P

the group i usually hang out with xD can never get a complete group pic...aiks..

it's very hard to have everyone gather together as most of us stay in different suburbs, and taking different subjects..etc..

more than half of them went back already.. anyway,til we meet again for our peninsular malaysia trip =D

my 老友记 Jeremy's birthday! first time tried kangaroo meat, though only a bit >.<

first time went windy point to admire the night view of adelaide xD

another birthday celebration. and cat touching session! xD

siew pei!! the eldest among ALL of us.. xD

good in cooking and baking, always asked me to eat healthily...seeing that i always skipped meal during the first semester. how nice if i really have an elder sis like her! always suggested us (new) places to makan..maybe my sudden gained of weight was partly due to her =P

left adelaide after graduated during july.. :(

p/s: i still remember that bear^^

sai lou, ah tim.

who went through a rather "major" makeover earlier this year haha! and at the moment proudly possessed his six packs xD

the karaoke king and laughing champion (always makes me distracted with his trademark laughter during lab session >.<) one of the very few rare one whom i feel totally comfortable with here...

i always LOL at our pics! especially those whacky ones... =D

i'm soooo glad that you were here with me in adelaide, besides Jeremy and Jialin, you are actually the one that i know the longest in adelaide. anyway, we'll be seeing each other again real soooooon! ♥

Big-D. the only one that knows my brother too! xD really admire his passion in science, always can see him reading journals (even on the bus!) and thanks heaps for the lovely fusion xmas dinner! 1,2,3 super smile (where's your ultra smile?)=D

the one who makes me addicted to playing poker, and gamble for the first time (and won! hehee...) in adelaide >.<

Denise :D

hang out with her so often during the first semester until i really lost count already. my genetics bioinformatic partner! how did we ever get through those hideous bioinfo session? >.<

don't know since when, we had this routine of going marketing together after our genetics class on friday during the first semester.

both of us came out with nicknames for others...such as the notorious yong sui! nyuek!

was really bu she de her when she went back for good back in august..at the beginning of my 2nd semester was really not used to not having her around as we used to go to uni together, and went home together too.

zhong kar yan no.2 =D

definitely one of the leng luis in the group. my biotech groupmate, we worked on our assignments together and blur together too =P

she might seem tiny, but you don't wanna mess with her cuz she knows judo! so don't judge a book by its cover..hehe! admirers 多到不行!

and one of her many weird hobbies is to poke sai lou's six packs =P

officially the youngest of all. even younger than sai lou.

nick name "aiks..." hahaha! the male poser in the group, always able to come out with spontaneous whacky poses whenever you flash the camera at him! and the only one with plenty jackets that he could change each one everyday for a week =P

the earliest one to go back malaysia. huhu...goodluck in your last semester next year!

my lesbo partner bee ai jie..

the one who helped me to cut and colour my hair...the hairdresser in the group..she's freaking good at changing guy's hairstyle. really can make an average looking guy into a really handsome + yeng one! serious!

also my revision buddy during exam period, the intensive one =P

the one who liked to tease my penangite's slang..

also the most sporty one, basketball, badminton, pingpong..etc...i miss playing with you already! if everything goes smoothly, i shall see you in a month's time =D

Josh!! the one who lives the closest to me =D

i could just walk a few steps to reach his place and knock on his room's window! sometimes it saved the need of sms-ing or calling him xP a must-have company for clubbing, he can protect you! seeing his size lol...practises kickboxing leh >.<>

had a few total random outings together, such as hungry jacks in the middle of the night after revision, minum session til the early morning with perng, lasi and bobby..etc..

the only one who called me "Ju Jian" lol, my father sometimes calls me that too!

and one more thing, don't push yourself soooo hard during gyming! hope your back is getting better after the operation.

hmm, when can i see you again Josh?!?

GML, is what we like to call her xD

personally i think she has the nicest voice among all of us..can become a radio DJ already hehe...a very sweet and innocent girl indeed! and she's still single yay!

such innocent girl is really hard to come by these days...hmm, must appreciate! =D

and i miss sleepovers in your room already...sigh...

grace and pw.

grace is the mother of da house! hahaha! and my fondest memory with her would be the eyebrow plucking session! i still remember it was so random and spontaneous that she asked me lay on the bed and started the torturing and yet funny experience when i went over their place for sleepover. thanks for making my thick thick eyebrows now looks like a real lady lol...and making me looks slightly prettier ahaha! xD as for pw, she's like my walking mandarin dictionary cuz her mandarin is so powerful that whenever i don't understand any chinese character i would go ask her =D

a super totoro fan, it's so easy that for her birthday you don't need to think but just get her anything related to totoro LOL!

not to forget about the girls who indirectly helped in increasing my alcohol tolerance.

i didn't really know how to drink, besides some beer before i came to adelaide. but now, bring those hard liquor/wine on babeh! hahaha :p

i'm the only one (most probably) not coming back next year...how sad!

congratz caroline for getting scholarship for to continue her PhD, amrita and anne for getting places in genetics honours :D

oh no.. i didnt realise until i tried to dig out our pictures: though we spent quite a significant amount of time together, we didnt take much pictures together did we? >.<

anyway, you're my first official (since the first day i touched down adelaide) and closest friend in adelaide. hence you're the VIP whom i can't leave out in this post. thanks for everything!! i'm so glad to know you and really appreciate for the many things that you've done for me.

all the best and enjoy your remaining years in adelaide..

til we meet again.. =)

since we took so few pictures together, let me add in some random pics that kinda remind me of you =)

artistic M&Ms stains on a tissue, your "favourite" mushroom pizza xD, hahndorf strawberries, panda in adelaide zoo, my australia hp number, the laundry room, the little cacat-ed lantern during mooncake festival, some "gorilla's" hairy leg compared with mine, and pool :D

bobby, perng, phillip, yeewei, my housemates, eugene, wei xue (the one who taught me how to play ping pong!!) and etc.. (i can't possibly mention everyone here aikss...)

but all and all, i'm really glad to know you guys!! :)

one of the main highlights of the year would be when my family came down to australia and visit me. had the most heart warming 10 days of my life in australia <3

second last day in adelaide...shopping! and city wandering...

i'm so gonna get a maxi dress when i get back to penang!its too expensive here..(great! now i have 2 different tones of skin colour! the burnt results from the trip to great ocean road is still there!) >.<

for the first time, i felt like the distance back to my place was sooooo short! need to slow down the pace...

also for the first and the last time, i entered the Hilton hotel..hehee..

and special thanks to ming hui, bee hooi, and the prospect gang! they really helped me out a lot, which includes packing, carrying, buying me stuff, teman me here and there, and so sooo much more! i'll see you guys soon!! huggies.. xD

and last but definitely not least,

GOODBYE Adelaide!! :')

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love,

the things you are,

the things you never want to lose.

i would say, 2009..

is really an extraordinary year for me.

i wonder what's awaiting in 2010?

No more

2009-12-21T01:22:00.008+08:00

damn damn damn!!

i'm LITERALLY ran out of tissue now,

and my table is fulled of tissue-made wantan leftovers..

so please, please no more crying..PLEASE!!!

p/s: i just want to sleep...

puffy eyes are killing me..

1st holidays in DECEMBER

2009-12-20T23:54:00.004+08:00

F U N !~!

I met my sister;
I met Mei Zhi;
I met YiYing;
I met Kok Eon;
I met Keant;
I met another groups of crazy fella;
I met SeeMin!

This was an ever meaningful trip so far. Fully make use of time, no rushing, met so many 'long time no see' friends!!:D

how much food i had?---i think i gain weight again.

how much shopping i did?---i got 4 clothes and tonnes of presents for others.

the golden sentence i made for the trip : ' I will show you what is medical student's stamina!'

ps: the only thing i missed is the photo..i was a bit blur and forgot to take many photos!!!!!:(

p/ps: thanks to kel and my sis..Victor sent me home that night, a guy i knew for only 2 hours.

Do you happen to know someone like this?

2009-12-15T23:52:00.015+08:00

something to share with you guys.

i came across articles about manipulative behaviors which i found rather interesting.

It is very hard to know if one is a manipulative person. There are people who talk and act like very nice people and we cannot distinguish between their manipulative behaviors and their natural ways. People who want to manipulate others are often very nice people especially at the start. You would only come to know a manipulative person with your constant interaction.

traits:

- pretend to be incompetent, play the victim, act helpless, or admit too often that he or she is stupid.

- say “promise me” or act overly concerned.

- blame others for their problems.

- often act ignored, forgotten, hurt, wounded, unloved, or uncared for.
- act angry or throw temper tantrums.
- often act depressed or suicidal.

- constantly repeating the question or request over and over again…in slightly different ways

- if that person doesn’t get his/her way, they make you out to look or feel like the bad guy

To get their way, manipulators will often make you feel good so that they can then ask you to do something that they want.

ahem..the statements speak for themselves

so i guess i'll leave it there...

p/s: i heart Daughtry's No Surprise so so much! <3

makes me feel like learning the electric guitar only! so yeng..

Back for good

2009-12-14T20:44:00.013+08:00

two more weeks, and i'll be back to my lovely pulau pinang! =D

hmmm. actually i'm having mixed feeling about having to go back that soon. yea, i know this is just a phase i'm going through (just like my previous stupid dilemma, but i'm really glad it's all over now, no longer linger on things that are not meant to be)

just when i started to have some really close friends here, and pooooof! suddenly, we have to part. alright alright, i know there are things called facebook, msn and phones...but still, there are some of them whom i will hardly HARDLY meet again.

september, royal adelaide show
(a few people missing here...oopss..)

p/s: my application for honours has been accepted.

but i didnt accept it.

applied just in case my dad kena lok hap choi...obviously he didn't >.<

p/p/s: Plants vs. Zombies! this game is sooooo good!!

thanks for making me spending most of my waking hours just playing you!!

The chain reaction

2009-12-10T21:52:00.008+08:00

the australia girls choir singing christmas songs in adelaide airport.

i've loss count how many times i've been going to the airport in December alone.

friends leaving one by one...

while i'm still waiting for my turn...

most of us were tearing while he was leaving, especially when it comes to hugging and bidding goodbye at the same time

like mh said, it's like a chain reaction

when one started the crying, it followed by one and another ='(

be strong! we miss you already!

i'll definitely miss your literally HA-HA-HA-HA laughter.

p/s: his advice to guys who want to have six packs, laugh like him! use 丹田 to laugh. xD

NIghtmare of the day

2009-12-10T17:55:00.002+08:00

As usual, i went to hospital in the morning, clerking case from the patient.

but something unusual occurred today.

The uncle wanted to kiss me...!!!

so so so disgusting to see the lips and the face!!!!!
yer...some more he was pulling me towards him!!!!
my face was only 6cm away from his lips?!!!??!?!
wahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!!??
was kinda unable to sleep in the evening just now leh!!!!!

PLEASE LAH UNCLE!! you can be my grandpa lah!!!

yam chin!!!!!!!!

才知道...

2009-12-06T22:47:00.007+08:00

Saw this on the net some times ago...

01.上了大学才知道，两个天天在一起的人不一定是朋友，有可能什么都不是。

02.上了大学才知道，从来不要和别人争论什么，因为那是没有结果的，无论谁对谁错。

03.上了大学才知道，手机是有事的时候用的，并不是为了交流感情。(so true la this point!)

04.上了大学才知道，真心对一个人好不一定有回报，而你忽略的人往往有可能是最重视你的。

05.上了大学才知道，很多东西是可遇而不可求的，很多东西你只能拥有一次。

06.上了大学才知道，恋爱不一定是真心的，有可能是利益关系，有可能是攀比心理。

07.上了大学才知道，原来中学老师教的是那么好，那么负责任。

08.上了大学才知道，很多时候自己遇到不开心事，千万不要渴望别人同情，大多数人会采取冷漠回敬的。那样会更让人家看不起。

09.上了大学才知道，有很多东西是不属于你的，你使劲强求会遭天遣的。

10.上了大学才知道，生活是有很多不公平的，你一定要正视，相信实力和群众的眼睛。

11.上了大学才知道，人的性格可以差异到如此之大。

12.上了大学才知道，一个人要自己对自己好，因为真正关心你的人很少，有了事他们也不一定会在你身边。所以要自己照顾自己。

13.上了大学才知道，课程会在你不经意间，拉下很多，期末考试前不一定能补回来。

14.上了大学才知道，钱用的是那么快，用钱的地方是那么多。

15.上了大学才知道，从现在开始应该把握每一个你能把握的人，放弃你留不住的人，不要因为想留住个别人而失去一群人。

16.上了大学才知道，自己一定在乎自己的自尊，因为你的自尊在别人眼里根本不算什么。

17.上了大学才知道，不要心情不好的时候对周围人发脾气，渴望他们谅解你，人家不是你的父母，现在你可以明白父母对自己多么重要。

18.上了大学才知道。即便有人对情感看的无所谓，你一定要坚信，人之间的感情，有可能会令所有东西无法超越的，但记住，只是有可能。

19.上了大学才知道，会遇到许多自己看不惯的人或事，但那与你无关，别人爱咋整随他便，别生不该生的气，不值。

20.上了大学才知道，许多曾经的人会变的让你认不出，但请留住回忆。

21.上了大学才知道，会遇到很多诱惑，无论别人怎么样，你是你，你有你的原则和底限。

22.上了大学才知道，会有人很讨厌你或者和你过不去，但是他爱怎么样就怎么样，我们要大度，

不和小人计较，但前提是你正确。

23.上了大学才知道，很多人无法理解男女之间的朋友关系，在一起就一定是恋人，不是恋人就一定不能在一起。

24.上了大学才知道，学习要刻苦，因为凭聪明就能应付大学科目的人是风毛翎角。

25.上了大学才知道，原来时间一空闲下来是那么无聊，丝毫没有中学的充实的感觉。

26.上了大学才知道，太在乎别人了往往会伤害自己。

27.上了大学才知道，对自己好的人会随着时间的流逝越来越少。

28.上了大学才知道，可以不把所有人当朋友，但千万不能把一个人当敌人，至少可以当同学。

29.上了大学才知道，玩你能玩的起的，玩不起的千万别玩，不然会输的什么都没有的。

30.上了大学才知道，快乐常常来自回忆，而痛苦常常来自于回忆与现实的差距。

31.上了大学才知道，原来上课，吃饭，上自习常常得自己一个人。

32.上了大学才知道，有很多人的想法与做法你无法理解，或是根本不知道他在想什么，千万别在那揣摩或者瞎猜，那样会让自己累，既然人家要保持神秘感那就让人家保持去啊，自己又不是占

星师。

33.上了大学才知道，每个人都是带有“地方特色”的。

34.上了大学才知道，别人请客吃饭或着自己请别人吃饭都是很平常的，甚至请一个不怎么熟的人都是有可能的

35.上了大学才知道，每个人都是认为自己的家乡最好，无论他的家乡贫穷或富裕。

p/s: i'm tired, mentally and physically...

everyone seems to start packing, i must too >.< no more excuses

Living with hope

2009-12-03T20:01:00.002+08:00

Everyone is giving me hope...
but you never give me..!

should i continue to dream??

can i not say goodbye this time?

2009-12-01T01:26:00.006+08:00

i do admit that i'm more to the sentimental kind of person (eventhough i might, MIGHT look tough from the outside at times..)

i tend to get all emotional when it comes to bidding goodbye.

and it's december already.

a month that i've been waiting for....

a month that friends are leaving one by one...

a month that makes me recall things...realize stuff...

it's not easy.

it's not easy to say goodbye to you when i don't even know when will we meet again.

it's not easy to hold back the emotion when everything seems unusually overwhelming at the moment.

it's not easy to bid the final goodbye, looking straight at your face without having the urge to tear...

sometimes i feel like...

leaving without saying goodbye, is actually better in some way.

saying goodbye is never an easy thing,

but you never said that you'd stay forever...

- Love Will Leave You Back

p/s: things happen for a reason.

i don't know the reason,

but you happened.

Definite HOLIDAYS!

2009-11-29T20:43:00.003+08:00

Anyone please definite holidays for me?!

or maybe we can do some calculations first:
3 days of holidays = 72 hours
no evening class on thursday= extra 11 hours
no suitable bus available on sunday= have to spend the last 18 hours in melaka

so in total, how many hours are left for me to spend in Penang?!

65 hours!

ONLY!!!

yet, i need to spend 16 hours to travel!!!!!

what a miserable holidays?!
is tooooo short to go back home; too long if i ain't go anywhere!!

im just too tired..
how i wish when i wake up in the morning tomorrow, i can see mama's face, or hear papa's voice, or touch jiejie's hands?!

for the whole day after i came back to melaka from penang, i CAN'T BREATHE!!